No contact with boyfriend for 8 days!

[MissyG]

My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship. We live only a 40 minute flight away but in separate countries. I am from Belfast and he is from Manchester (but works in London a lot). We have been together for 6 months or so after meeting at a party of a friend I was visiting. We've always been mad about each other and he made no secret of how much I meant to him. Up until a month ago, we were doing just fine with the distance. Then he got very busy at work. He works at a very demanding job, high-profile, from which he makes a lot of money. I was always aware that this would demand his attention. I was understanding the first few times he cancelled trips to see me or said he would have to rearrange. But then he missed a vist for my birthday, no card or present sent. Just a phonecall (a long one though). His arrangements to see me again have been vague since and last week I'd had enough. An old friend, who's quite good looking, began admitting feelings he was having for me and, although I didn't do anything, it made me realise how much others think of me and what they would do to be with me. And my boyfriend is just accepting I'll be there even if he let's me down. I do not want to be with the other man, I should stress! Because of this, I felt more confident to tell my boyfriend this set up wasn't acceptable. He apologised and said he was very busy and couldn't prioritise at the moment. I told him the relationship was more like a friendship but I really wanted us to work out. He told me he was abroad in Dubai and so the time difference was a little difficult to work around. He was sleeping when I was working, working when I was sleeping. He didn't contact me after this and I haven't heard from him since. I have text him twice and gotten no reply. Have I been dumped?? I'm pretty certain he is back from Dubai now.

[Saya]

Why don't you just call him instead of texting and ask him what is happening with this relationship.

[Boisdevie]

Long distance can kill relationships. And if he does work long hours as well then that won't help. Is it over? You'll have to ask him but it doesn't sound hopeful.

[surfhb]

Doesnt sound as if he's interested anymore.

[celestina]

Wrong timing. His career is his priority right now, and he cannot deal with stress from a relationship at the same time. He has to excel in his career first, so he can take care of his woman later, whoever will be lucky enough to be there with him at that time. If you give him stress, it's obvious he will cut you out. And because of you telling him that "this set up wasn't acceptable", he now knows he can't make you happy because of his constant being away, so he probably thinks it was best not to pursue this. This man doesn't have time for a relationship now; so you have two choices :

1) if you really want to be with him, you have to accept his conditions, and be patient with him; if you do this, with time, I'm sure he will come to appreciate your understanding and maybe come to want more with you, and do more for you. BUT it won't be easy because if you choose this path, you can never, EVER, show him pain or give him any sh*t for being away, and you would always have to show him that you are strong, understanding and independent (i.e. that you don't depend on him, that's what he needs in a woman RIGHT NOW, because he can never be there for her), even if it means not talking to him over a long period so he can focus on making his money. If you can do all that, you might become the woman he wants to come home to talk to and be in a relationship with.

OR

2) pick the simpler, easier road and go be with someone who will have all the time and attention you require and who will be there for your next birthday.

At last, if things aren't working out now, they could aways work out later, once he will be done moving around and will be ready to settle. It's up to you, whether you want to wait by him (with long periods of loneliness), or go and try to be happy with someone else right away.

[celestina]

And also, while you are having a million thoughts about this man for the last 8 days, he might just be working really really hard on closing an important deal; so a demanding/nagging woman is the least of his troubles right now.

[celestina]

Also, I don't see it mentioned anywhere how long you have been in a relationship with this person. This changes a lot of things!

[Wakeup]

And also, while you are having a million thoughts about this man for the last 8 days, he might just be working really really hard on closing an important deal; so a demanding/nagging woman is the least of his troubles right now.

Yea... just shut up and take being ignored for **** sakes (sarcasm over).

Op: You are not happy with this situation and after discussing it with this man he gave you no promise to make things right and then to top it all off, he disappeared and has put you even further down his list of priorities.

Do not settle to be with a man that cannot juggle two things at once. You will never be happy while you wait at home alone while he focuses on his priorities. Make a clean break and maybe do some serious looking at the man that wants you with him. Wait to get over this current debacle before jumping into another relationship though. You want a clear mind and a clear heart before trying to fit yet another man in there.

Good luckl