What is going on ?

**Alban** · 14-06-12, 10:31 PM

I am new to this forum and i will try to make is as easy as possible.

I am together with my girlfriend since she was 13, now she is 16 and I am 19.
We are in a long distance relationship and we meet once a year about 1 month she is here because she is like 1000 km away from me.

We tell each other how much we love each other, we had so much fun and we were like perfect . I told my family about her and gave her a ring (not engagement ring) to show her how much I love her and how important she is in my life.

Till some months ago everything seemed fine and we almost couldnt get one day without each other, and I don't know what is going on she has fun with everyone else but not with me, she doesn't give a **** about what I think, she said to me don't plan everything let it go as it comes

I asked her what is going on ? What has changed ? Why do you get angry at me without any reason ?

She tells me I am too jealous(I admit it) and 3 weeks ago she left me, she said it was too much for her and I asked her what was too much ? Then she responded that everything was too early (the thing about my family, sex, the ring) and she couldn't anymore.
I admited to her and said I am sorry about that but we can't change nothing about it so why do you want to leave me .
She said I hope that you will be happy etc... after that I cried like a kid . I couldn't believe it she's like everything for me :S after a while she said sorry my angel and everything else but after that day someday we have so much fun and the other day every thing is ****ed up .
I am so confused :S what should I do ? What is going on ? What is up with her ?

I would be very happy if you help me I really don't want to lose her she is my past , present and future, she is my dream and I can't imagine my life without her

.

Thank you for your time reading this.
Please respond to it .

**searock** · 14-06-12, 10:33 PM

You are both SO young. She is right, she wants her freedom and to enjoy her remaining teenage years. How could you not see it coming when you decided it was ok to have a 13 years old girlfriend!? Let her go.

**Boisdevie** · 14-06-12, 10:41 PM

You see her once a year. This clearly is a relationship that is going to work out brilliantly - NOT.

**searock** · 14-06-12, 10:50 PM

Oh god I only just read that part. OP, how can you not see that this relationship is made of fail?

**Alban** · 14-06-12, 11:11 PM

Because we love eath other. And why should I give up ? we were together 3+ years and just let it go ?
I won't accept it and if that would be that bad she would have let it go easily but she doesn't want to give up either.
Girls give me some advice please

**searock** · 14-06-12, 11:13 PM

I am a girl and I gave you advice... love alone isn't enough to keep a relationship going. She wants her freedom, she wants to experience and have fun and enjoy her teenage years. If as you say it is true love, you can always find the way to be closer and get back together when you're adults.

**Alban** · 14-06-12, 11:22 PM

How old are and what do you think about freedom, experience and having fun ?

**searock** · 14-06-12, 11:33 PM

I am 22. At 16 I wasn't ready for a serious, long-lasting relationship, I just wanted to have fun and explore different possibilities. I definitely was NOT ready for a relationship at 13! That's way too young, at that age a kid is only just starting to kiss boys and flirt etcetera. Of all my friends who started long-term committed relationships in their late teens, from 16 upwards, not one of them is still together with the person they were with at the time.

**Alban** · 14-06-12, 11:44 PM

So you are saying just let go and **** it ? Did you love someone ever in your life (sorry for the questions but I have to ask you so you can answer from your experience) ?
I am just saying that she can have fun and other things but why without me ?

**searock** · 14-06-12, 11:52 PM

Of course I have been in love. I know it's hard to accept that she would be happier without you, why couldn't she just have fun with you? What she needs is *freedom*. She doesn't want to be "tied down" and bound to anyone. Being your girlfriend implies that she can't do many things. She can't date other guys, for example. She has to pay attention to what she does in order to not upset you. She can't just go to a party and dance with other guys etcetera. She can't, say, decide she wants to study abroad for an year, without risking to damage your relationship. At her age, it's perfectly normal to desire complete freedom. Right now she feels like she *has to* be with you, and this itself is making her feel tied down.

Oh wait, I just remembered that yours is already a long-distance relationship. This makes it even worse! She is not only bound to you, she actually has to limit her behavior for someone she only sees once a year. Surely you understand why this cannot work out. She was a child up till now, now she's just starting to grow up and naturally her thirst for experiences is growing.

You think that she is the "only one" for you right now, but believe me, she really isn't.

**Boisdevie** · 15-06-12, 01:06 AM

Here we go. Yet another poster who will only accept the answer that fits in with their own views. This is better than watching Judge Judy.

**Alban** · 15-06-12, 02:06 AM

What you are saying is true and false.
I accept the answer that fits my views and I seriously watch other views on my relationship that's why I joined this forum in the first place because I have to see other's advices and see what i can do to prevent my life ending. I am a very optimistic guy who believes that true love has no age and never expires, I even once saw a quote from an Old women who responded to a question how she lasted 65 YEARS OF A RELATIONSHIP together, she responded : In our time when something got broken, you could fix it.
I will not give up !

**Boisdevie** · 15-06-12, 02:19 AM

Originally Posted by Alban

I am a very optimistic guy who believes that true love has no age and never expires

Listen sonny, you are young and deluded. But good luck. I expect when she tells you to fark off you'll think she's just playing hard to get.

**Alban** · 15-06-12, 03:05 AM

Thanks for the answer anyway.

**Angellic** · 15-06-12, 10:19 PM

You sound incredibly possessive and controlling in your unwillingness to accept that this girl wants her freedom. The more you rant about it and try to bring her back into line, the less likely it is that she will ever come back to you. She's just a kid at 16! Course she wants to have fun!! What 16yr old doesn't? As Searock said, if it's meant to be, you will get back together at some point when you've both had a chance to grow up a bit.

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