Confused by him insisiting on contact

[caligirl23]

Hello all,

Thanks for taking the time to read. I posted a while ago about a man I met who I dated for a very short time. Maybe a month. The relationship was amazing, so I thought, and I really fell very hard for him. I thought I had met "the one", but kept it pretty cool. He told his parents about me, I met his friends, he would text me "I can't wait to see you again, beautiful" and then..BAM. He ends it, telling me he doesn't feel a spark and isn't falling in love. With other relationships, it has happened sooner and he doesn't feel like it is happening with me, so he wanted to be honest. I can appreciate that, but I have been left feeling gutted. I tried to dust myself off and move on, but lately, he insists on contacting me here and there with random text messages such as "hi, how is your week going?". I used to respond, but recently had a family tragedy that I have been focusing on and he has been relentless in his offer of support, telling me "if there is anything you need, please let me know" and "can I do anything to make you feel better?". I started to ignore the texts once I got confirmation from him that they were nothing but him being nice. He said that he doesn't think romantic feelings for me will get stronger and things like that. So, I guess my thought of him trying to win me back were just little fantasies in my head.

Here is the deal...I ignore him and he continues contact. He sent me a text the other day telling me he had some tupperware he wanted to get back to me. Tupperware!? So, I politely responded, telling him I don't care about that and he could keep it. I was very indifferent, but polite and he finally admitted that he said that to see me. When I asked him why, he responded "Because I care about you and wanted to see how you were". I declined, telling him that him letting me know that he didn;t want to date me anymore sends the message that he doesn't want to see me, so I am confused.

Anyway, I saw him yesterday at a work function (we work together, but a different department, so rarely see each other) and he went out of his way to come over and talk to me, ask me how I was, telling me how beautiful I looked, etc.

I just cannot wrap my head around this. I listened to him when he said he didn't feel a spark and I believed him. I have engaged him in conversation and it got me nowhere. So, I ignore him and he still insists on random contact. Don't get me wrong, I do like hearing from him because I want so badly for him to come around and I won't tell him to stop. I guess my question is...if he doesn't want me, then why the contact? Why the hoping to see me deal? What is going on here?

[iamaninnocentma]

did he borrow the tupperware or did he steal it. either way its pretty sick behaviour. What does a man want with tupperware? Youve had a lucky escape if u ask me.

[Wakeup]

Hello all,

Thanks for taking the time to read. I posted a while ago about a man I met who I dated for a very short time. Maybe a month. The relationship was amazing, so I thought, and I really fell very hard for him. I thought I had met "the one", but kept it pretty cool. He told his parents about me, I met his friends, he would text me "I can't wait to see you again, beautiful" and then..BAM. He ends it, telling me he doesn't feel a spark and isn't falling in love. With other relationships, it has happened sooner and he doesn't feel like it is happening with me, so he wanted to be honest. I can appreciate that, but I have been left feeling gutted. I tried to dust myself off and move on, but lately, he insists on contacting me here and there with random text messages such as "hi, how is your week going?". I used to respond, but recently had a family tragedy that I have been focusing on and he has been relentless in his offer of support, telling me "if there is anything you need, please let me know" and "can I do anything to make you feel better?". I started to ignore the texts once I got confirmation from him that they were nothing but him being nice. He said that he doesn't think romantic feelings for me will get stronger and things like that. So, I guess my thought of him trying to win me back were just little fantasies in my head.

Here is the deal...I ignore him and he continues contact. He sent me a text the other day telling me he had some tupperware he wanted to get back to me. Tupperware!? So, I politely responded, telling him I don't care about that and he could keep it. I was very indifferent, but polite and he finally admitted that he said that to see me. When I asked him why, he responded "Because I care about you and wanted to see how you were". I declined, telling him that him letting me know that he didn;t want to date me anymore sends the message that he doesn't want to see me, so I am confused.

Anyway, I saw him yesterday at a work function (we work together, but a different department, so rarely see each other) and he went out of his way to come over and talk to me, ask me how I was, telling me how beautiful I looked, etc.

I just cannot wrap my head around this. I listened to him when he said he didn't feel a spark and I believed him. I have engaged him in conversation and it got me nowhere. So, I ignore him and he still insists on random contact. Don't get me wrong, I do like hearing from him because I want so badly for him to come around and I won't tell him to stop. I guess my question is...if he doesn't want me, then why the contact? Why the hoping to see me deal? What is going on here?

Maybe he is just being friendly in order to keep a door open. Did you two have sex in that two month period that you were together? If you did then maybe he wants a Fk buddy and he's keeping a door open in order to prime you for the job? In any event, he's been very clear that he doesn't want a relationship with you so don't read too much into his continued contact and certainly don't expect to be in a exclusive relationship with him again. If you can't just take his contact as being friendly to you and nothing more then ask him outright. Ask him if he doesn't want a relationship with you then what does he want ~ what keeps him in contact with you?

DON'T settle for a sexual only relationship with this guy. You will NOT be able to handle that when you already have feelings for him and want more... I'd not even settle for the friendly, going no where banter/contact either.... but thats just me. I've got enough friends where I don't need little crumbs from someone who has no spark for me. I'd start ignoring him he doesn't want you in the way you want him.

P.S. Never trust a guy that steals yur tupperware . lol

[caligirl23]

Thanks, wakeup. You had valid points and made me laugh. I made him dinner and put it in the tupperware. It was a lame excuse to see me and he admitted it. We did have a sexual relationship and while it pains me to admit this, I think it was probably a "booty call" to set up a f**k buddy situation, but I wanted another opinion. I told him I don't want to be just friends, so he knows where I stand. I may need to reiterate that and cut contact. I am only hurting myself in the long run by allowing him to have an open door with me. Thank you, really!

[caligirl23]

did he borrow the tupperware or did he steal it. either way its pretty sick behaviour. What does a man want with tupperware? Youve had a lucky escape if u ask me.

Haha!! That made be giggle. I needed that. Thank you!