My heart hurts when ever i think about her...

[sadsoul]

[ IT's a slightly long story but if you would be willing to read it all and tell me what you think , it would be very appreciated. I really needed to just vent my feeling...]



I met her in middle school. She was the first and only girl i ever had a crush on. I realized it after i saw her smile for the first time after my friend made a joke. She was a extraordinarily quiet girl. I was a very quiet/shy guy my self. I sat behind her in class and we exchanged a few words here and there though out the year about work. At the end of my freshman year in high school my friend told her i liked her. She stared at me across the gym that day during physical ed,while we were being put in groups. I tried to say something to her but thought i would have many other chances so i waited till next year. Our school went through big chances and separated everyone into 2 building. Of course i was separated from her. I saw her maybe 2 more times untill senior year came. I had a class with someone who had the same last name as the girl i liked. This girl said and she was arranged to be married and if her father ever found out she was dating he would have her killed. I wondered if it was possible this girl was related to the girl i liked? They have the same last name and are both indian. Senior year We had a senior picknick. She stood there alone waiting for her ride to come and pick her up. I had a good hour to say something and words raced through my mind. What if she thought i was weird! I chickened out and felt sad... The last event of the year when all the seniors go to a secret place to hang. That will be when i tell her how i feel, no matter what. I thought about it for hours and planed what i would say. She never showed, and i was depressed at the amusement park the senior class went to. I attended my community college and saw her freshmen year. I would pass her twice a week. She would be sitting on a bench waiting for her ride to come. I tried every week to say something. I would tell my self every week today would be the day i would talk to her. I chickened out atleast 10 times. Each time i felt extremely sad and angry with my self. One time i even walked right next to her and she noticed me but wouldn't make eye contact. 2nd semester of freshmen year as she would leave her class i would be waiting there because my next class was in the room she was leaving. She would never make eye contact with me. I budded her on facebook and she accepted after a week. After first year of college i messaged her on facebook. I said hi, i remember you from my science class. How are you? She ignored it and never replied back. She eventually deleted her facebook. whether or not it was because of me i don't know. I figured maybe she was arranged to be married and comes from a strict family so she was afraid to even acknowledge my presence. I'm good looking and nice so i don't understand why else she wouldn't talk to me. This was a half a year ago. She is the most beautiful, cutest , sexiest girl i have ever seen. Everything about her draws me in. Her voice , her amazing body , her cut face , her shy personality. I know there are plenty of fish in the sea , but i have never seen a fish like her and don't think i ever will again...I don't think i will ever meet someone who will make my heart pound like she does... It's sad...

[Kyeema]

I'm good looking and nice so i don't understand why else she wouldn't talk to me.

Well, I'd say because you never actually started talking to her! Stop being sad, start talking to her and see what comes out of it! Otherwise you might never now and ask yourself for the rest of your life what could have been with her... It's not only the things we do that affect the course of our lives, it's also the things we don't do - and these we usually regret most.

Take a leap of faith and find out what life has in it for you and if she's part of it!