She Won't Talk To Me

[DJames55]

I met this girl online 4 months ago. I'm 20 and she's 19. But it's not long distance. She lives less than an hour away and we hit it off instantly. Same type of humour, interests in music and film etc etc etc and we both knew we were both attracted to one another. We met through Twitter and we just started talking more and more you know? I did find out that she was still in a relationship (8 months long) but she told me that things weren't going well between them and it was proving too difficult to make it work. Then they broke up and she started showing a lot more interest in me. Then after like a month she gave me her phone number. We began texting a lot. You know that kind of feeling you get when your phone vibrates and a new message comes through and it's a wonderful feeling because you know it's from her? That feeling. We met up about a week after she gave me her number and even though nothing sexual came about, we were having a really great conversation and we both knew that we wanted each other. We hit it off phenomenally and we both hugged and said goodbye knowing we'd see each other again. We were giddy from happiness.

We both started getting really busy with college work and started texting only a little less, which was fine by both of us because we knew that we were both busy. We meet up after a few days or something (can't really remember) because she tells me she wants to tell me something. Okaaay. She tells me that she doesn't want to go through another relationship ever again (exaggerating?). I got a little upset and asked her what exactly she wanted from this/us. I got kind of angry and said I felt like I was wasting my time with her when she knew I was looking for a relationship with her even though she already had her mind made up that she didn't want anything serious right now. She walked off and left me just sitting there like a fool. We both upset each other and I was halfway home when she texted me and asked me where I was and that she wanted to tell me something. We apologised and hugged and then I ****ed up... I tried to kiss her.. I was overwhelmed with so many different emotions at the time and it was a huge mistake. She walked off again but I made up with her and apologised and said that the most important thing to me was our friendship. Okay.. So everything began to be okay again. So we were back to normal.

A few days of normal chatting pass and then after a little while of texting more she just randomly asks me "What do you dislike about me?". I basically said that we're all human and everyone has their flaws and that I prefer to focus on the more positive things and what I like about her. Fair enough right? I didn't want to argue or start a fight. Then she texts back "Fine. I wasn't looking for insults. Yawn". What.. in the world? I am confused now. She tells me she doesn't want to fight and that it was just a simple question and that her guess is that we're just not meant to communicate and maybe incapable of communicating. Then I told her she was being silly and all the reasons why I think she's amazing to me. Which seemed to change her mind and she thanked me and told me I was too kind. I'm assuming she was just having a typical female-i-hate-myself moment. Hey.. Even guys have those. So okay. Things seemed to be cool again. We were always talking about cuddling and being excited to see each other again and all this cute stuff and some flirting too and this started again even after she mentioned a while back she didn't want any type of serious relationship.


More normal chatting and a few days later she told me she was heading out with friends. Fair enough. Cool. Good for her. Good to get away from the college work. I couldn't sleep that night and text her at like 3am simply saying that I hope she had a good time and that I couldn't sleep but I was really happy I found her and she was amazing to me. I dunno. I just felt like telling her.

Another few days later she told me she had a dream about me and we were making out and stuff. I told her of a weird dream I had a while ago where she was crying but I held her and made her happy. I know. That was stupid. She started feeling all sad and lonely then, so she said. I agree. Stupid me. But I thought we were telling dream stories that the other was in. I KNOW.. Stupid. Excuse my male brain. But the next day everything seemed fine and we started all the cute talk and flirting again. The day after that we were chatting like normal and my phone had obviously died and I had just simply forgotten about it. It was like 4 hours and I was wondering why she hadn't texted but I realised that the phone died. So I just started texting her again after turning it back on and she was hostile and short replies like she was pissed off. She must have thought I just decided to ignore her. Obviously not the case but throughout the day she just began to say stuff like she actually likes the lack of contact and that we're pretty different people and that I try too hard to have similar interests with her. Which, to me, just isn't true. I'm only trying to get to know her, you know? I let her know that if I came off like that to her it's because I'm afraid of losing her and that I'm only trying and that she means the world to me. She tells me that I'm just really intense now and she's sorry if she hurt me and that I really am genuinely nice guy.

So 2 days pass with no contact I'm really upset that she feels like having less contact. I let her know later that afternoon that it would be good if we could talk and that I was in the local park if she wanted to see me. She wouldn't even see me and told me to *beep* off, to delete her number, and never talk to her again. She told me that I was a creep. This floors me and I don't understand how she can call me genuinely nice one day and the next a total creep. We haven't talked in nearly a month now and I sent her a gift - something special that she told me she always wanted - and instead of maybe contacting me and saying thank you or something like that, she tells my best mate to tell me that I'm creeping her out and I'm just too intense and that she wants to be left alone. I found her address in the phonebook because she never physically told me. I thought it would've been a really great surprise and spontaneous but she seems to interpret me finding her address and sending her a gift creepy. I don't understand any of this and why she can't just tell me how she feels.

[iamaninnocentma]

yeah, it sounds like this bird is menstrating. this can last upwards of 12 days. let her cool off and contact her after that. good luck

[Saya]

Just don't contact her again. She even told your friend that you'recreeping her out. Don't send her that gift... If you do, it would look like you are stalking her and she would freak out.

[Cerby]

...We hit it off phenomenally and we both hugged and said goodbye knowing we'd see each other again. We were giddy from happiness.

This is a huge assumption based on the rest of the story you told, so lets continue...
You wanted this:

...I was looking for a relationship with her...

In response she did this:

She walked off and left me just sitting there like a fool.

So you lied to her with this:

...but I made up with her and apologised and said that the most important thing to me was our friendship.

The rest of your post is pretty much whiny crap about texting and trying to somehow make it work against all odds. Somewhere in there you knew it, but you still persisted with this crazy friendship (or whatever you were calling it at this point.) There is a lesson to be learned here, if you aren't getting what you want, or on a clear path to getting it, then you likely won't ever get it. This was wasted time for you, because I'm pretty sure she didn't really care at any point. Just someone to get her mind off her breakup.

I don't understand any of this and why she can't just tell me how she feels.

Good luck with that.

[Saya]

Sorry....because I was reading this thread on my ipod that I must of missed-read your post....