Urgent: She's moving away in 6days, should I say something?!

[l32435]

So yeah, my Ex is going in 6days, and I still care for her so much. We've been broken up for a couple of months now, but recently established contact. Been getting on really well (still living together at the moment, after me going home for a while) talking like good friends, laughing a lot and watching a few movies. But I'm still in love with her; do you think anything good can come from telling her how I feel?

My plan was just to get her a card wishing her luck as we are both going on work placement. But we will both be returning to the same University September '13. We were on a break and had planned see if we could pick things up were we left off upon returning, but unfortunately we had a big falling out and she didn't want to speak to me for over a month. But since we've started talking again I feel there is hope. She never had feelings for me when we first met, was caught off guard when I sprung it on her that I liked her. She pretty much just said yes when I asked her to go out with me because she didn't want to miss the chance. Neither of us expected how good things would be, so much in common, such similar thought patterns could act 100% genuine in front of one another, travelled to the other side of the world to meet her family. Mine loved her, hers loved me. So it was equally shocking when things fell apart all of a sudden... Due to some bad choices on both our parts I think, trying to just be friends when we were living together was never going to work. And we were acting on different boundaries. She got jealous on a couple of occasions, for no reason but understandably and I think I was so confused and was generally just putting across the wrong attitude.

But while I know she can't forget the pain she felt at the end, I know the good times can't be forgotten so easily either and if that potential was beneath the surface all along I want to believe it will always be there. Both of us have secured some amazing opportunities for our placements, I'll be living abroad for the first time so I'll get a chance to experience what she felt coming here. And I think it will be a great chance to work on some of my weaknesses like my organisation and self reliance. When we first met I was a big support for her but now she has really come into her own, and I can see she probably doesn�t need me. But when I strengthen myself I think I can be a person she can lean on again if she needed it.
Anyway, I want to ask if we can keep in touch next year as at the moment I know she is still a bit wary, won't add me back on facebook but seems ok to talk and knows I will be emailing her about some final financial stuff from our flat.

Basically should I tell her all of this, how I really feel? I worry if she does have feelings for me still it will upset her since she was moving on, but if she feels nothing she can come out and say it and I'll deal with it. But if I say nothing I'll regret it.
Also should I write her a note in the card I'm getting her, let her take it away and think about it, or just come out and say it to her next week before she goes? Or alternatively do nothing, maybes get her a bunch of flowers too and just cross my fingers for the future, not bother asking about keeping in touch and just drop her an email sometime in the future?

Thanks people.

[Cerby]

You already know the answer here. Do not say anything, you're going to hope for only the positive outcome, and it won't be there. She will get mad at you for saying anything and nothing will come of it except more heartbreak on your end.

[l32435]

Why will she get mad? Because she's moved on and I'm holding her back? Just I know I'll regret never finding out, maybes if she tells me to go to hell it would be easier than never knowing or never having tried.

What about just asking her to keep in touch? Then I'll just focus on my own thing and see what happens when we both come back to University, I guess even if she did still care for me when she is moving on with the distance it's just gunna help accelerate that. In which case I just go back to my orignal plan of making sure we part on friendly terms, I'll get her that card and help see her off. She's talking to me again in person atleast, I wouldn't give that up for anything... Sound like a better plan?

[oldskool83]

i agree with cerby, but you sound young and wont listen. prepare for the worst my friend.

[l32435]

I just find it easier to live with my mistakes than with regrets, just when we broke up she wouldn't speak to me at all, we both had exams etc was all going too fast and I didn't get a chance to like fight it and keep us together. Pretty sh%$y really...

But I see your points;

Say something, I've got closure but she might end up hating me.

Say nothing she is atleast talking to me now and I just move on, and atleast things ended on good terms.

Both suck haha. Saying I should look out for myself right now and follow your advice, better for her that way too I guess?

[Hat Trick]

Say something then you either get upset that she still likes you but is moving or say nothing and live with the guilt. You have to be the one to decide on that one.

In my opinion I would just say something along the lines of good luck and hope your life is good.

[l32435]

Yeah she's gone either way. I was thinking about it was a win-or-lose situation, but looks likes it's just to what degree I lose by.

Yeah am just gunna make sure we part on good terms, like you say wish her good luck, and say if she wants to keep in touch I'd like too. Not going to make too much of a deal of it and just gunna enjoy hanging out together for the last few days.

Thanks for your help guys. It wasn't falling on deaf ears I was just trying to look at it from all angles.