Ok guys, this is probably going to be a controversial topic but nevertheless, i want to see whether there is any female out there whom shares similar thoughts to mine.

3 years ago, i got into a relationship with a girl, let's call her hanna. 3 years ago, i was curious, frustrated of being single, wanted to have a female�in my life. It was my first relationship. I learnt how to be a gentleman through the net, chased her and soon after we got together. You probably know what's coming next. The honeymoon period and the downfall.�

Yeap. So it was all lovely and stuff until i had some disagreements of her actions, but i did not voice it out and kept it within because i thought that's what a good boyfriend should do. But these unsolved resentments built up through time and boom, i couldn't take it anymore and exploded after a few months of frustration and we had a big quarrel. That was about 2 years ago. We spent another good few months resolving all those unsolved resentments.

Alright so, we went through quite a bit with each other. And right at this moment, we're about to seperate. Why? Because i cannot agree with faithfulness in a relationship. Okay hold it right there. I'm 20 this year, in case you guys wanted to know. Don't get all mad at me and call me a bastard yet. Hear my thoughts out.�

I see relationships very differently now as compared to three years ago, after going through quite a bit with hanna. You see, i now believe in relationships without expectations, rules or jealousy. If something makes me happy, i want a partner whom will accept and support me in reaching my happiness, not a partner whom will restrict me or give me trouble just because she does not like it.�

So here is where the controversial part comes. My happiness includes looking at other females' physical features. This includes pornography, models, females on the streets. Now if you're going to ask me to look when she's not around but do not look when she is, don't bother. Because i want a partner whom i can be totally comfortable with and accepts me entirely, so i do not have to go about hiding what i want to do. It's really stressful when i had to.

Yeap. I believe in natural preferences, and that humans are all living out of self interest. So i have my own set of preferences and so does hanna. Whenever our preferences conflict, i'm the one that always end up saying, 'if we cannot reach a mutual compromise there is no point forcing it.' And hanna will be the one saying, 'i believe that if we stick with each other through the end and compromise, we can make it.'�

But the thing is, (i'll just get straight to the point) for sensitive preferences such as my own desires of enjoying other females, and her preference for me to be faithful towards her, conflicts badly and it is really difficult to reach a mutual
compromise on that.�You see, i simply cannot understand why there must be faithfulness in a relationship. I have developed to a stage today where if i do not agree with something i wouldn't do it even if the majority says it's fine.�

2 and a half years ago i wasn't like that. I was following how to be a good boyfriend and stuff, doing them out of peer pressure and fear of rejection just to impress hanna even if deep down inside me i didn't understand why i was doing them.�After a good amount of time, all these backfired on me. I started to feel empty, like i'm doing things in my rs even without understanding why. So slowly, i started to listen to my own voice and stand firm my opinions, which caused alot of quarrels, debates, you name it.�

So right now, i cannot understand why must there be faithfulness in a relationship. And yeah by the way if you want to know if i may have been affected by my family members that caused me to think that it's okay to commit infedility, i would say, there are a number of close�family members of mine that were about to or had committed infedility, but that did not make me agree with it. It affected me alot and made me all the more hungry to find out the reason why they committed infedility and is it wrong?�

I have what i believe as the healthiest relationship in my life. And the person i have the relationship with is my dear brother. You might say i cannot compare this relationship with my relationship with hanna, but i believe that ultimately, both are emotional bonds with another human being that consists of mutual understanding and natural liking for one another, even though both relationships consist of different activities, of course. So, the reason why i think it's the healthiest bond is simply because, we enjoy each other's company, we dnt hold each other back from each other's happiness or restrict each other, we understand, accept and support each other. As a conclusion, there is natural liking, independency, mutual respect and freedom, total acceptance and support. We do not expect each other to do anything. What we want to do, we do, we don't want, we won't do. When there are conflicts, we accept each other as humans whom aren't perfect, respect each other's individual understanding and do not impose any kind of ideals on each other. We share our opinions but ultimately we make our own choices.�

So, it's very different with hanna. She says a boy-girl relationship is different from a brotherly relationship because there is a different feeling and stuff like that. Her view of a relationship is that a boyfriend should do this this and that and a girlfriend should do that that and this. Basically, there are rules and expectations in the relationship. This is the part where i disagree as of today, because i do not believe a healthy relationship should have rules or expectations. Because of these rules and expectations, there was peer pressure, and that caused me to do things i didn't even understand why i should be doing it, resulting in unsolved resentments, frustration, and difficulty to be comfortable around her because i cannot feel the mutual acceptance.

Yeap so, ultimately, i want my relationship with hanna to reach a similar state like i have with my brother. I see my sexual desires as my happiness, and i definitely have my right to indulge in whatever sexual desires i want, be it pornography, models or with other females, and i want hanna to accept me, not get jealous and not restrict me. Of course i won't force her if she does not want to. I do not like to force others. I enjoy following the flow of nature. Reason why i disagree with jealousy is because i think is restricting, stressful, and cause alot of insecurities and fear. I know these may all sound very far fetched and mad, but this is me, i don't lie, and i seek a partner whom can understand me as a learning individual and not judge me just because majority of society disagrees with it. I simply cannot understand why there must be commitment, and why humans cannot indulge in their sexual desires with one another. I want a partner, whom does not impose restrictions on me, and yet with the freedom and choices i have, i choose her and indulge my sexual desires on her only and feel the best that way. Although i cannot understand the need of commitment, i know that, i will only enjoy myself to the fullest if i'm engaging in sexual activities with a partner whom i have a very deep emotional bond with, as compared to a stranger with just the looks. Do you see where i'm getting at? I want things to be natural. No rules. But in the end, i choose this one and only partner simply because of the happiness and comfort from the deep emotional�bond we share that was built from mutual acceptance and understanding.

I've wrote alot, and yeap do share with me whether it is possible for the females that are from venus to actually agree and support my understandings. I will only reply to those replies which i feel are genuine, realistic and practical to what i've written. Thanks in advance, have a good day/night ahead.