Abortion Support

[jcowap]

Hello there!

Im Jonathan and im 27!I've been seeing my girlfriend a month (and I know thats early) I've known her for about 4 months.

We are a perfect match and get on immensely well. Our relationship is perfect! Anyway 3 weeks ago she started feeling poorly and a week later she found out she was pregnant. She was taking birth control however forgot to take it once and unfortunately fell pregnant because of it. We both talked about it a lot and decided to abort the pregnancy for a number of sensible ideas.

She is booking an appointment in the next few days however I was just wondering if any women on here had been through abortion or know anyone that has? I just want some advice to be honest. At the moment it feels like there is a big black cloud over the relationship and it wont go until it is sorted. It may sound selfish but I cant wait till its all over now and sorted so we can get back to how we was before.

My girlfriend is really concerned that we won�t be able to continue the way we was however I just keep reassuring her however im a laid back easy going guy. I wont allow there to be any tension or awkwardness once itïs all over. Im a bit worried also because I dont want it to cause us to split up and I really want her to give me the chance and come out so I can prove that we can go back to how we was.

I just feel really rubbish at the moment. Im not seeing her a lot because she ïs poorly and her head is a mess! Itïs not causing any arguments e.t.c and when shes talking/texting itïs normal.

What should I be doing/saying to help her and support her? Im trying not to hound her a lot and cause her any more stress and like I said keep reassuring her about us and telling her me and her splitting up is a worry she doesnt need!.

Thanks for reading everyone and thanks in advance for your comments! I do love her to bits and I just want everything to be ok and go back to the happy relationship we had before. Shes not just my girlfriend, she ïs my best friend aswell

[surfhb]

Well I can tell you it ruin a relationship for me and was probably my life's biggest regret. Im not pro or neg abortion here but just giving you my experience

[AdminOnline]

you are 27 yr old and i assume you have been working for sometime now?
since this lady is your best friend and someone you cherish alot.. you should take up the responsibility to keep the baby. Be a good father.
Financial wise, i hope you can cope with it as it will not be easy.

[jcowap]

Sorry I made a boo boo! Im 26! I'll use the fact that im on day 3 out of 6 12 hour shifts heh!

Thankyou for your replies!

I have told my girlfriend I would actually keep the baby. Yes I have been in a full time job and earn good money. My Mum and Dad also retired at an early age as they are financially stable so they could help a lot. Her mum works in nursery which is a good thing plus because I work shifts, I get 2 weeks of a month! I have made her aware I would be happy to go ahead with the pregnancy.

She feels like she is too young to have a baby and I feel because the relationship is new, we haven’t had enough me and her time yet. I want to go on holidays with her and visit other places but I suppose you can do that when you have a baby.

If im honest with you, she went to the clinic on Monday and backed out of it. She said she felt really guilty plus she is scared of the procedure. She said she will call again on Monday and book another appointment because she is adamant it is what she wants so we shall see what happens. I did say to her that people become pregnant and don’t want to keep the baby but end up doing so because they are against abortion e.t.c.

Im 90% she will go through with it because I know her very well. We shall see what happens on Monday. I just fear for the relationship if she does abort the baby and it’s just a bit rubbish at he moment with it hanging over us.

Jonathan

[surfhb]

Sorry I made a boo boo! Im 26! I'll use the fact that im on day 3 out of 6 12 hour shifts heh!

Thankyou for your replies!

I have told my girlfriend I would actually keep the baby. Yes I have been in a full time job and earn good money. My Mum and Dad also retired at an early age as they are financially stable so they could help a lot. Her mum works in nursery which is a good thing plus because I work shifts, I get 2 weeks of a month! I have made her aware I would be happy to go ahead with the pregnancy.

She feels like she is too young to have a baby and I feel because the relationship is new, we haven’t had enough me and her time yet. I want to go on holidays with her and visit other places but I suppose you can do that when you have a baby.

If im honest with you, she went to the clinic on Monday and backed out of it. She said she felt really guilty plus she is scared of the procedure. She said she will call again on Monday and book another appointment because she is adamant it is what she wants so we shall see what happens. I did say to her that people become pregnant and don’t want to keep the baby but end up doing so because they are against abortion e.t.c.

Im 90% she will go through with it because I know her very well. We shall see what happens on Monday. I just fear for the relationship if she does abort the baby and it’s just a bit rubbish at he moment with it hanging over us.

Jonathan

We'll have to wait an see what happens. BTW....use a rubber next time Einstein ! I was a dumbshit too!!!

[jcowap]

HaHa I think I will from now on! She did forget to take her pill for 1 day and that day does tie in with how far she is gone but im not blaming her. These things happen and birth control isn't 100%.

If she decided to keep it, I would be happy!

But she is saying she wants to abort it (which I am also fine with) , its just a big dark cloud over the relationship at the moment and just feel rubbish everyday and wont feel any better till the situation is resolved!

[AdminOnline]

Sorry I made a boo boo! Im 26! I'll use the fact that im on day 3 out of 6 12 hour shifts heh!

Thankyou for your replies!

I have told my girlfriend I would actually keep the baby. Yes I have been in a full time job and earn good money. My Mum and Dad also retired at an early age as they are financially stable so they could help a lot. Her mum works in nursery which is a good thing plus because I work shifts, I get 2 weeks of a month! I have made her aware I would be happy to go ahead with the pregnancy.

She feels like she is too young to have a baby and I feel because the relationship is new, we haven’t had enough me and her time yet. I want to go on holidays with her and visit other places but I suppose you can do that when you have a baby.

If im honest with you, she went to the clinic on Monday and backed out of it. She said she felt really guilty plus she is scared of the procedure. She said she will call again on Monday and book another appointment because she is adamant it is what she wants so we shall see what happens. I did say to her that people become pregnant and don’t want to keep the baby but end up doing so because they are against abortion e.t.c.

Im 90% she will go through with it because I know her very well. We shall see what happens on Monday. I just fear for the relationship if she does abort the baby and it’s just a bit rubbish at he moment with it hanging over us.

Jonathan

How old is your girlfriend?


you must know the consequence of aborting baby..
the girl will have lower chance of conceive, should she want a baby in future again.

If you love this girl, you should protect her & take up the responsibility.

[jcowap]

How old is your girlfriend?


you must know the consequence of aborting baby..
the girl will have lower chance of conceive, should she want a baby in future again.

If you love this girl, you should protect her & take up the responsibility.

She turned 21 a couple of months ago.

I have looked into that and the chances of not beign able to conceive again are pretty low but I understand it is a risk.

I do love her to bits! I suppose it's hard getting advice of what I should do to support her through an abortion to make sure she is ok and we don't splut up - Girls react in differant ways. Some are fine and brush it off, Others are emotionally scarred.

She is a strong girl - she insited on going to the clinic on her own and insisted she will be fine. I just really hope she is.

[MaidenMinx]

Do not let her go alone!! She is going to need to be driven home and looked after.

I have had a termination. I was 19 and my bf was 23. Neither of us were working, though I was studying. He was fantastic during the pregnancy but turned on me after the abortion. He never really forgave me as hee would have been happy to keep the baby. It really was my decision.
Afterwards I was filled with guilt. I swore I would never have another abortion.

[jcowap]

Do not let her go alone!! She is going to need to be driven home and looked after.

I have had a termination. I was 19 and my bf was 23. Neither of us were working, though I was studying. He was fantastic during the pregnancy but turned on me after the abortion. He never really forgave me as hee would have been happy to keep the baby. It really was my decision.
Afterwards I was filled with guilt. I swore I would never have another abortion.

Thanks for your reply!

I really want to go with her and even spoke o my boss to get the all clear to go when she finds out the date however, she really wants to go alone.

She went to the clinic on Monday to abort the pregnancy and didn't end up going through with it but she lied to me what she was doing that day and the truth came out. She lied because I kept insisting on coming and she just wants to do it alone and get it out the way. I know she will be in pain but if she insists on going aloen theres nothing I can do

I wont resent her at all for terminating the baby even though im open to keeping it. It might sound selfish but now she has decided to not keep it, I just want it all over so we can carry on before she found out she was pregnant. being a really happy loved up couple.

[vashti]

I don't know what it's like in Canada, but in the U.S., you would need someone to drive you home after an abortion because of the anesthesia.

Are you SURE she is pregnant?

[jcowap]

Hello

I haven't seen a pregnancy test or anything but she has no reason to lie plus shes a really honest genuine girl and i trust her 100%. She was stopping at mine 3 weeks ago and she staretd to feel ill. I took her to my doctors and she and him both thought it was a water infection and she was given antibiotics which didnt clear it. She then went and saw her own doctor who did tests and advised her to take a pregnancy test. I think too much has happened for it to be a lie. Being sent home from work with morning sickness etc and the stories she has told me.

[Wakeup]

HaHa I think I will from now on! She did forget to take her pill for 1 day and that day does tie in with how far she is gone but im not blaming her. These things happen and birth control isn't 100%.

really want to go with her and even spoke o my boss to get the all clear to go when she finds out the date however, she really wants to go alone.

Are you sure this baby is yours? You've only been with her one month! A sensitive question, I realize but if she decides to keep the baby you should know what you're up against. There must be a reason why she wants to go alone considering she's so scared you'd think she'd want you with her for the support.

How do you know the time she missed her pill that it ties in with how far gone she is? Did she tell you that?

[jcowap]

She asked me the date when we went to an adventure place near where I live called Go Ape which is when she missed he pill. The doctors then told her she was 6 weeks go and this ties in with that date.

I know what im up against if she was to go ahead with the pregnancy and I know we would be fine and have a lot of support.

She went to abort the pregnancy on monday but ended up walking away because she felt guilty and was scared of the procedure. I could tell from how she was reacting that it is bothering her and she told me she had a scan and watched it. Not the actions of someone that is lying.

Im not sure why she wants to go alone. She has said all along she wants to go alone. and just get it sorted herself. I've not really asked her really but thats not a major concern for me.

Honestly, shes not some sick twisted confused girl lol she wouldnt make up something like this.

[surfhb]

Honestly, shes not some sick twisted confused girl lol she wouldnt make up something like this.

How do you know this after only 4 months? This is very strange to me why she wants to go alone. It's definetely means your relationship is over.....that's a given

Is point of the thread is you wondering if you still have relationship? No way in hell. Think about it......why would she not want you there?