The basics

[Sleed]

I caught myself thinking that i shouldn't be attracted physically so strongly to my ex girlfriend .

But a strong attraction is the foundation of a relationship right? I mean i look at my sisters , one is married and one is in a 10 years relationship and they both lusted for their men for at least the first 4-5 years and still find them attractive. I also know a lot of other relationships that have this base ingredient .

I have these guilty thoughts because i left her while not being able to take her constant whining and crying . She wanted me to move in with her and i was avoiding that and she was crying a lot because of it. We broke up like 3 times and everytime she came back to me or made me come back. The last time, the 4th it was my time to come back because her birthday was coming in 5 days, but i didn't , i totally neglected her on her birthday, not even a happy birthday and i also cancelled our Vienna visit that we planned in the next 2 months.

I was feeling guilty that i only liked her exterior a lot, that i lusted for her and i still lust for her , it is ok to lust after the person you care for right? Lust is a part of love?

I also like most of her personality and we match on a lot of things, just her constant crying made me crack..... So i like her exterior a lot and i like most of her interior ....

My first question is : Is it wrong to lust hardcore after your girlfriend? Does this exclude or include love?

And my second question need a presentation.

After i neglected her on her birthday, cancelled our visit for Vienna and was rude in general .... i ignored her for 3 months, i needed a cool off period..... she got a new boyfriend . We used to cry so bad when we broke up it was ****ing depressing in the proccess of happening . We did brake up 3 times(like i said) and every time it was really hard . We would be reunited the next day always, by her efforts, always. This 4th time she was so sure ill call her and reunite because she didnt think i would bail before her birthday and our future plans.

We had future plans for like the next 3 months when we did brake up , i think she had this other guy on the backburner cause he appeared suddenlly after 1 week of neglect from me. She told me they hooked up after 1 month but i think she is lying.


I left her in a really rude way, after all her efforts in the past, i was a jerk.... Was the new guy a rebound after 1 week? Or what?

One more question : The new guy is leaving for England in 1 month and she will be alone again , can i win her back then? I really want to win her back. We were a couple for 2 years , she is with this guy for 4 months or so.

[Saya]

If you two loved eachother so much, I don't think younwould break up with each other so many times. Once you broke up and get back together, the relationship isn't going to be the same again so most likely you will break up with that person again. For you, you have broken up four times...it has become like a routine for you... It's like, if there is some tough time in the relationship, instead of working things out, you two end up breaking up. I think that if you two get back together again, most likely that you will break up again.