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Thread: Friend ignoring abuse signs

  1. #1
    Chris0516's Avatar
    Chris0516 Guest

    Friend ignoring abuse signs

    I talked with my online friend of ten years, for what may have been the last time I will ever hear from her.

    As a child she was abused. Now she is 31 w/ a 5yr.-old daughter. She is in a relationship with a guy that was put through the ringer, by his wife. She separated from her husband three years ago, and he separated from his wife, a year-and-a-half ago. She recovered from what was done to her during her childhood, and what her husband did to her.

    The guy she is involved with now, is so insecure that, he doesn't like her communicating with men at all. It is to the point that, she is capitulating to his whims, instead of standing her ground.

    Last night when I was talking/chatting with her via Yahoo Messenger, she started crying when I 'called' her on her behavior. She says she loves the guy, more than any guy she has ever loved. I am expecting, that his emotional abuse will continue and she will do nothing about it.

    I am guessing, I will hear from her, in a couple of months. But it will be a long couple of months.

  2. #2
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    Well the only thing you can do is suggest to her to seek out some counseling. Obviously she doesn't realize she is choosing to be in controlling relationships because that all she has known.

  3. #3
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
    IndiReloaded is offline Yawning
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    Chris, ditch the icons, its hard to take this story (or you) seriously.

    This story sounds wrong. Unless you have met this guy, remember you only know what she chooses to tell you. IMO, she is looking for your sympathy (and getting it). What does she expect you to do about this guy not wanting her to talk to you online (not unreasonable, btw, if they are serious about each other). And why is she telling you all this anyway?

    And why do you have a 10 year online relationship when she has a 5 year old and was married? Yes, something definitely wrong here.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  4. #4
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    Yeah I think she could use professional help. That's how she is and that's how she wanted to be. It's only her that can solve this problem.

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