So confused

[yusuo]

Right I guess the first thing to do is give a brief back story, my ex and I have known each other for near 10 years now, we have 2 kids together and we're actually really good friends.

We've split up and got back together twice now, first time I had an issue with marijuana and was young, family was the last thing on my mind and naivety, she was 5 months pregnant at the time and I do regret it but its the past and nothing can be done.

We got back together when my son was just over a month old and things were happy at first but towards the end of our relationship I was I was going through some personal things and well the outcome of that was me acting like a complete douche towards her and my son, so much so that I drove her into the arms of someone else.

She was pregnant again at the time of our split but neither of us knew at the time and we didn't find out until about a month after the break up, we kept on friendly terms for the sake of the first born, doing weekly visits etc until her mum got involved and I lost it. After that I took her to court as she threatened to stop me from seeing the kids, paternity tests were done on both children and they are mine. But while the whole court case was ongoing she was still pregnant and still tells me now that what I put her through was the most stressful moment of her life and she makes the clear occasionally.

Anyway jump forward in time and were really getting on well again, I speak to her every night on the phone, I see her and my kids atleast twice a week (along with court ordered visitation which is every fortnight) we even go on family day trips, took my son (whose 5) to a theme park the other day, we talk about everything, she tells me all her problems, we flirt and in the last week we've ended up in bed.

The confusion part comes from although were very chatty/flirty etc she still drops little hints that she doesn't want us to be a family again.

I would like a female perspective on this issue, i'm guessing shes worried that if she did take that chance again, then she would just be opening herself up and the kids for alot more heartache. She doesn't let me into her house still because that's her and the kids "safe place"

Do I give up hope on being a family and just be thankful for the situation that I'm in, I really don't know. All I know is i'm happy with how it is right now and I don't want to ruin anything

And please don't flame me, I know I've been an ass in the past I just miss them whenever i'm away from them

[kdjm]

I really think that she probably just has trust issues because of the past. These issues won't only affect her relationship with you, but also with any other man. For a woman to completely open herself up to a man and be so vulnerable, only to end up in heart ache.. twice, is extreeeemely difficult. I cannot stress that point enough! If you are serious about getting back together with her, you should do absolutely everything in your ability to prove to her that you are trustworthy and that you won't hurt her again.. and follow through with that! You might have one more chance with this but if she ends up hurt again i really think that's the end of it. Also, you should bring her out on a fancy dinner date. Every woman loves a man who will make her feel special and beautiful