I think most people find the idea of S&M more interesting than the reality. Our society is conditioned to think there is something wrong with 'stable and boring' sex life. Personally, I would much prefer a generous, loving partner than one who is into acrobatics and kink. Or harbours cruel tendencies behind their complaints of boredom (there's all flavours out there). I'm pretty liberal in matters of sex, but I'd be wary of anyone overtly stating a preference for this kind of thing, especially for the latter reason.
But to each their own. That alternate forum sounds likely. This place is pretty vanilla.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh