Dealing with regret

[libran]

Hi new on this forum, about a month or two ago, I was a very busy guy involved in projects(its not as cool as it seems, theyre just dissertations) and I met this girl when I was working on my stuff at a bar. We got on really well (she really seemed like someone special I'd never met before) and then she caught me off guard (i was working) and asked me out and I (instinctively reacted) said no cause I was very busy and hanging out with a lot of my other friends. Now that I'm done (another year of my degree), all my friends I know got busy with jobs and took up degrees and I happen to be on the sofa with cheeseballs all day for the past month (summer break from my bachelors degree). I guess my question is, how do you deal with the regret that surrounds the loss of an opportunity to be with someone who you really thought was special? Or is this just a lame mind trick thats saying 'youre lonely now and shouldnt have said no?

[Lobsterpinch]

I think this has a very obvious answer...deal with the regret by going out and meeting someone else.

[libran]

Hope she has a twin sister or a clone or something

[Cerby]

Hi new on this forum, about a month or two ago, I was a very busy guy involved in projects(its not as cool as it seems, theyre just dissertations) and I met this girl when I was working on my stuff at a bar. We got on really well (she really seemed like someone special I'd never met before) and then she caught me off guard (i was working) and asked me out and I (instinctively reacted) said no cause I was very busy and hanging out with a lot of my other friends. Now that I'm done (another year of my degree), all my friends I know got busy with jobs and took up degrees and I happen to be on the sofa with cheeseballs all day for the past month (summer break from my bachelors degree). I guess my question is, how do you deal with the regret that surrounds the loss of an opportunity to be with someone who you really thought was special? Or is this just a lame mind trick thats saying 'youre lonely now and shouldnt have said no?

This is just spilled milk, there is nothing to regret here. This is a part of life that you'll just learn to move past. When I graduated high school I had a wicked chance to be with a girl who I had gone to school with for 5 years, but only really gotten to know that evening. She wanted to spend more time together, but I quickly declined because we were in different cliques. I didn't realize that when HS was over, everyone dissolved into real life and popularity meant nothing after that. For a long time I realized that I had probably made a bad decision, but never regretted it. I learned from it.

[searock]

I don't get it, why would you decline going out with a girl just because you have a different group of friends? O.o

Anyway, there is no point in regretting stuff, just learn from it and focus on the present.

[libran]

This is just spilled milk, there is nothing to regret here. This is a part of life that you'll just learn to move past. When I graduated high school I had a wicked chance to be with a girl who I had gone to school with for 5 years, but only really gotten to know that evening. She wanted to spend more time together, but I quickly declined because we were in different cliques. I didn't realize that when HS was over, everyone dissolved into real life and popularity meant nothing after that. For a long time I realized that I had probably made a bad decision, but never regretted it. I learned from it.

Thanks for that, I've just pasted it into my head that ive made a bad decision, you said you learned from it, how is it working for you? Did you get a chance to apply what you learned? and to searock, I didnt decline her cause I had a different group of friends, I was busy with a lotta work at that particular time and I dont really have a reason as to why I declined, like said, it was an instinctive reaction to my current schedule and environment at the time.

[searock]

My question was mostly directed to Cerby :-).

[Cerby]

That was how it was in High School, people from each level of society would be tormented for "dating down". After High School that just didn't matter any more.

[toknow]

First, if she were special, you wouldn't have passed by the opportunity to go out with her, or did you realize that later on.

I'd say ask her out, but if you only care about her when you have nothing lined up, it would be very selfish of you to do that and does both of you disservice.

When you regret something, it usually is life's way of saying don't do it again or go fix it.