Off and on for 8 years.. Time to end it?

[Kaclark08]

I met this guy at a party when I was 18. We had sex the first night we met but i knew something was different about this guy. He ended up calling me to hang out with his fraternity, so I did and we hit it off. We have always lived in different towns (about 2 hours away) so we have never been "together". We have each had other bfs/ gfs but always go back to eachother. I hended up falling in love with him and had my heart broken multiple times but somehow always went back. Well 8 years later.. I am about to be 26 and he is 29. He has grown up SO much and isnt in his party days anymore. I just got out of a 2 year relationship, but we have recently started hanging out again. His friends love me and he knows I am better for him than the other girls he has dated, but he still had this " we dont live in the same place" mentality. He says if we did then he would be with me. It hurts bc i feel like if you care enough about someone then it shouldnt matter. Recently i spent a weekend with him and had a great time, then texted him that when i finish my masters in may, i could find a job closer to him, and he replied, "whatever is best for you." Part of me feels like he is usig me for convenience, but part of me feels he is scared of commitment. Either way, i know im not going to move 2 hours away fpr someone unless they are my bf.. And if he isnt willing to be my bf until we live in the same town, im thinking that is never going to happen. I am asking for advice bc i have no idea what to do. I love this guy and could see myself with him forever, but im worried that he doesnt want forever with anyone..

[Boisdevie]

It's pretty clear he's not interested.

[iamaninnocentma]

It's pretty clear he's not interested.

how did you get thanked 18 times in 16 posts. terrible advice there.

[toknow]

You either take big risks with big losses or gains all at once or take smaller risks spread out over a longer period of time in which case you are taking a big risk with your time. So, either way you are taking a big risk, the first option might seem like the harder one, but it's the better one. You'll learn your hard lesson quickly.

[UdoKier]

You tell him that you would like to be closer to him and he replied with "whatevers best for you"? That's the non-commital reply of someone who probably would like to say "no" but doesn't want to ruin a perfectly good booty call.

[haxan]

Stop being a doormat by saying things like 'whatever is best for you' when in reality you don't mean it. Try having an open, honest discussion with him and let him know how you feel. Be prepared to walk away. Time for you to put on your big girl pants now.

[Kaclark08]

I guess i didnt explain the situation very well. It started out like a booty call.. Then we actually had conversations about "us". He has always said that we would be together if we lived in the same place and i know he likes me but i feel like i guess he doesnt like me enough? He likes me enough to always come back to me after so many years. And i have written him off a few times. But then i forget everything years later when he wants to hang out. This weekend was different.. He was a gentleman, held my hand in public, talked to his friends about me.. Then he had this past week off and said he would let me know what he was doing so maybe he could come see me. Well this is where i may have messed up.. See i work at a vet clinic and its easy to pick up things from animals. Well i found out that i caught ringworm from a kitten and i told him in case he got it and didnt know what it was. He knows where i work so i thought he wouldnt think it was weird and i was being nice in telling him.. So i thought. But now i never heard from him. I texted him yesterday to ask how his vacation was going but still havnt heard from him. I saw on facebook that he was back home which means he could have come to see me but didnt.. That hurt. So it got me thinking about everything and now i dont know if i freaked him out with the ringworm or he is just being his old self.

[Kaclark08]

He said that to me..

[Boisdevie]

Listen honey, you're making sad pathetic excuses. The guy just likes access to a warm vagina - yours. Emotionally he is not there for you is he?

[Kaclark08]

Thats the thing.. He is pretty closed emotionally. I see the sweet and thoughtful side and he treats me like a gf in public but wont "be" with me.

[Boisdevie]

Choice number 1.
Accept the situation as it is.
Choice number 2.
Don't accept the situation and end it.

Either way, at the moment you're getting a line across your ass from sitting on the fence. Make a decision.