If old flames looks very different??

[rxwoman]

I have a question for the guys.
An old flame from close to 30 years ago looked me up on Facebook. He had a gal, and I was married back then so there was nowhere for our feelings to go.
Now we are both single, and middle aged.
He has mentioned how crazy he was about me back then..but that I was when I was young and cute.
I'd love to meet up and see what happens, but I'm not the size 7 jean wearing girl I was.
Going by his profile picture, he of course still looks great.

Guys, if you once had intense feelings for someone back in the day, how much physical change (or pounds) would be a deal breaker?

Thanks.

[Boisdevie]

I think if you're trying to ask the question would you still fancy a woman if she had gone from nice looking to fat then the answer is no. Just how many pounds extra are we talking about here?

[haxan]

You have to be honest with yourself about how you look, 30 yrs is a long time. I know for a fact that I wouldn't be attracted to my high school girlfriend from the 80's right now.

[oldskool83]

YEAH not faulse advertising........ive been known to turn around and walk other way if sum1 does not look like they tell me they do.

no lifting before i pump....only at the gas sation BAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Boisdevie]

10:1 says she's really fat. Or am I meant to say 'bubbly'?

[rxwoman]

How many pounds? I'm not talking a 100 pounds here, but I'm certainly a few jean sizes more than a 7 now. Few enough to to kind of hide ( I think) by only posting profile pics that are from the waste up. Cripes, I am middle aged and have had kids, but hey thanks everyone for answering honestly, that's kind of what I thought. Guys are extremely superficial.
*sigh* I'll just let him remember me young and cute.

[Boisdevie]

You're obviously embarassed which is why you're not going to tell us how many pounds. Guys are so superficial - didn't you yourself say you'd seen his profile picture and he looks great? So clearly you are just as superficial as us aren't you?

[vashti]

He's a grown man; surely he doesn't expect you to look exactly like you did when you were a kid, unless he's as dumb as a rock. Still, I think you should judge for yourself if compared to other women your age, are you pretty much equivalent to the level of attractiveness you were in high school. If the answer is yes, I wouldn't stress out too much. Not all men expect women to never get older, and the ones who do - in my experience - have issues with their own aging process.

[rxwoman]

Boisedevie,
I'm not giving a number because it doesnt tell you much. X pounds on a short person looks different than it would on a tall muscular person, etc.
Just because I said he still looks great doesnt mean that if he didn't it would be a deal breaker. He looks great to me, because he looks like himself, just alot older.
Vashti,
I often get told I don't look my age. Maybe because I avoid the sun..?
I have, however, suffered the middle-aged weight gain thing.
That's what's giving me anxiety.
Some people get to be those lucky types who NEVER gain ANY weight, and eventually age into wizened, sinewy, versions of their younger selves.
I guess I'm not going to be one of them.
Thanks to everyone for their input.

[vashti]

Some people get to be those lucky types who NEVER gain ANY weight, and eventually age into wizened, sinewy, versions of their younger selves.

Eh, after 40, we all have to decide between our ass and our face, and even then, we will all look like crap in the end. Anyone who says differently is lying to themselves.

nydailynews.com/life-style/health/study-thin-age-face-article-1.361419

[haxan]

Like vashti said, if you're in your 50's, do you look good compared to most women in their 50's? Let that be the judge. A few extra pounds are fine. I've worked out hard my entire life and only ever dated a couple of women who worked out. To throw a number out there, I had a really cute girlfriend at one time who was 5'5 around 140-150 and carried it well. She was very attractive.

Just be honest with yourself and realistic.