Ways to break up with a girl

[sundaygirl]

If a guy wants to break up with a girl, just cuz he is not interested anymore, is he gonna come out and tell her or will he act like an butthole and then make her dich him, so that it looks like it's really her fault? I'm asking cuz this guy I'm dating keeps saying sorry for not being able to talk to me, 3rd day now, I already told him several times that he doesn't need to appologize if he can't talk and he can just not write if he wants to (very politely without any drama) but still in the morning he says he'll text me at night and then when night comes appologizes for not being able to cuz he hung out with his friends and I'm wondering if he wants me to dich him and can't tell me straight to face that he is not interested anymore. we've been dating for only 2 weeks and after spending the weekend in his house he is doing that and I didn't have sex with him yet.

[haxan]

Just leave him be and see if he gets in touch with you. No need to follow up with someone more than once.

[Cerby]

He is a flake, Haxan is right, just leave him be.

[Maple1714]

Sorry to post in here as a female...but ditch him. Never wait around for a guy! Make him work to be in your life! If he was really interested then he would be calling/texting you. People (men and women) typically will try to just avoid the situation vs/ just telling you he isn't interested b/c its easier. I am trying to teach my daughter this

[sundaygirl]

Thank you guys i needed to hear that I was thinking may be I'm making a big deal out of something small

[oldskool83]

Hes just not sure if hes really interested im sure, just let it be.

[sundaygirl]

Not responding when he appologized seemed kinda wierd if I was being mad at him or something so, yesterday when he appologized again I told him not to worry, cuz I was busy yesterday all day anyways and was gonna be busy today too cuz I was planning to hang out with my girlfriends anyways, and he didn't say anything back. Yes you're probably right he is not sure if he is interested, I'll let him be now and wait if he responds or not

[VincenzoG91]

I think it was Vashti here at Loveforum who once said, "A woman should never chase after a man or a bus. The next one will come along soon enough."

[sundaygirl]

I think it was Vashti here at Loveforum who once said, "A woman should never chase after a man or a bus. The next one will come along soon enough."

I really like the sound of it, but doesn't it bother you a bit being a man, that women would just ditch you men if there was a slight obstacle?

[VincenzoG91]

I really like the sound of it, but doesn't it bother you a bit being a man, that women would just ditch you men if there was a slight obstacle?

It bothered me when I was younger, but it happened often enough to other guys that I know. So I stopped taking it personally. Once a relationship gets serious, slight obstacles tend to become irrelevant. If the relationship isn't serious, then yeah, slight obstacles can end things abruptly.

[sundaygirl]

If the relationship isn't serious, then yeah, slight obstacles can end things abruptly.

Oh I see, then another question, If a guy introduces a girl to his parents, would that mean he is taking it seriously? or do men ask girls to meet their parents often even in the begging of a relationship when they're not so sure? because he said, "I told my mom about you and she thinks that you're really nice girl" and he asked me to meet his mom and dad and I went and sat down and spoke with them so thought it was going quite serious but then again the relationship is just getting started. He wanted me to meet his parents the first week we met and I said that it was too soon and made him wait a another week

[VincenzoG91]

Oh I see, then another question, If a guy introduces a girl to his parents, would that mean he is taking it seriously? or do men ask girls to meet their parents often even in the begging of a relationship when they're not so sure? because he said, "I told my mom about you and she thinks that you're really nice girl" and he asked me to meet his mom and dad and I went and sat down and spoke with them so thought it was going quite serious but then again the relationship is just getting started. He wanted me to meet his parents the first week we met and I said that it was too soon and made him wait a another week

I think that meeting the parents is a big deal.

Thinking back, there were times when I ditched a girl that I was previously interested in, after just a few dates. A couple of times, it was because of something serious but unrelated going on in my own life, like the time when a close friend from high school committed suicide just after college.

Other times, I lost interest when I saw a serious red flag in the woman I was dating. For example, I dated a woman who got falling down drunk on a third date. She didn't want me to take her back to her apartment, because she lived with her mom and knew that she would get yelled at. So I took her back to my place. Somehow she regained some functionality during the 15 minute drive to my apartment. I went in the bathroom right after we got to my place, just to take a leak. During those minutes that I was in the bathroom, she found the case of liquor that I hid at the bottom of my linen closet while my alcoholic dad was visiting the previous week. And made herself a drink. That's an impressive sense of smell, but also a warning sign that she was serious alcoholic.

We went out one more time, and she took me to her favorite bars. I don't know the term for it, but both bars were boring places where people sat quietly watching television while they drank heavily. Bunch of boring alcoholics. And she was boring when she got drunk, she would just start slurring her words until I couldn't understand her at all and then get helpless and sleepy. So I stopped dating her.

I'm not saying that you necessarily did anything wrong, it's probably just him. Or maybe he met somebody else. But it is possible that you might have somehow reminded him of some other bad situation, and he lost enthusiasm. I don't know. But I do think that other people gave you good advice above. Don't take this personally and just carry on with your life. If he is really still interested, he will try to get in touch with you sometime soon.

[sundaygirl]

Oh I see, he was really being insisting and wanted to know my feelings towards him right after the first date and i told him that we didn't know each other that well to tell him that I would be able to share the rest of my life with him and he said that he would be patient. Then everything else happened, i don't have drinking problems but I'm dating for the first time and he has been in a very seriou relationships before and he is looking for wife and i told him that i wouldn't wanna get married. when he was making excuses for not being able to talk to me he was acting like he is still interested but today i went to the dating website where we met and he was online so openly, and still didn't talk to me. I didn't tell him that I was interested in pursueing a relationship with him yet and he was constantly worried if I cared for him the same way he did for me but back then i wasn't so sure, I'm still not sure but started to like this guy a little and thinking may be he is bailing out cuz he thinks that I don't care for him and bugs in my head keep telling me try to talk to him today may be he'll answer cuz he is on-line on dating website, may be he saw me being over there and thought I was not interested and was looking for other guys? I keep thinking that I wasn't behaving like I was serious enough for him you know and me visiting that dating website might have disappointed him, what do you think? Sorry it's just my female psychology is not letting me to just wait for him to respond lol, we women think differently, you're 100% sure that I need to let him be?

[VincenzoG91]

Yeah, leave him alone. He might come around later, and you can decide if you're still interested at that point.

He may have gotten the impression that you're not interested in a serious relationship, and he sounds like he is in a desperate hurry to skip past the initial dates and get right into a serious relationship again. He is going to get hurt that way, because he is ignoring the importance of dating. The purpose of the early dates is to find out if there is compatibility and chemistry, and to look out for any major signs of trouble, like crazy behavior or a wedding ring on the finger or a drinking problem. Stuff like that. If he rushes past that stuff, he will find himself too emotionally involved with someone who is still kind of a stranger. If he's lucky, things will still work out, but more likely he is going to get pushback from women who are wary of his desperation or find him too clingy.

[oldskool83]

ill say it again, just let it alone his interest is elseware for whatever reason.