Am i falling out of love with him or is it just my issues?

[nikkikitch]

Hi

Im really confused about what to do about my relationship.

Ive been with my boyfriend for nearly a year and he's honestly the kindest, most considerate man I've ever met!
My past three relationships have been horrific and borderline abusive, very up and down and i got very hurt. I also have a 13 year old son who he has been great with.

My boyfriend is 5 years younger than me and a lot less 'experienced' than most men ive been out with and he's just very laid back and can be very quiet sometimes.

We have issues because i feel im carrying our entire relationship, i make all the plans, i organise everything, he never really takes me anywhere or suggests going out, its always my ideas when we do. His confidence was knocked in his last relationship and by his own admission, hes a little scared of organising things or making plans because hes scared i wont like them!! Im basically missing the excitement and fun, whilst my last few boyfriends were unstable, they were also very outgoing, always doing new things, exciting etc and i miss all that.

Its getting to the point where im just fed up and constantly think about whether we're right for each other. Its stupid, because some days i feel like i would marry him, then i go through these phases of feeling like its not going to work!

Its got to the point where everything he says irritates me and i get stupidly angry with him, then the way he kisses me bugs me too!

We've also been through a lot of upheaval, we moved in together very early on because i had to move out of my apartment and have only been in our current flat for 4 months and now the landlord wants it back so we have to move AGAIN! Since thats happened seems to be when i started feeling very strongly that we wont work.

I have a lot of issues with relationships and being quite self destructive generally which im in therapy for, so i dont want to throw something away when it might just be my issues making me feel like i do!

He said ive started being distant with him, which i have, not on purpose but im constantly thinking we wont work so its no wonder is it!

I honestly want it to, apart from his confidence issues and the lack of excitement, hes lovely and would make a perfect husband and father!

I know excitement fades, but its not just that its the way he is, he doesnt really talk about his interests,so mentally i feel like we've just not making a connection which affects the whole relationship, sexually too.

Help!?

[toknow]

If you have to ask that question then you aren't in love with him.

[Boisdevie]

You are very very confused. And clearly not in love.