Gf wants a break

[Chris_704]

I've been with my gf a couple years now,we live about 30 mins away from eachother and everything was ok we had a few arguments but every relationship does. last month was a really hard month for both of us her grandad was dying in hospital so i made sure i was there for her when she needed me, i would spend hours and hours sitting in hospital with her and when the time came i was at the funeral telling her everythings going to be ok and ill be here for her.
Im really in love with her so before all this was going on i brought her a ring and was planning to make it really special i booked time off work which im now on to take her away and ask her the question, but last week she started to go quiet i asked her why and would get answers like nothings wrong and she wouldnt answer my calls the morning after i went there to speak to her she said she wanted a break she sill loves me but wants her own space and doesnt want the arguments we have been.

Last sunday was her day off and at about 12 she says she wants me to come round i go round thinking i can show her how much she means to me i tried to make it special i brought her a little somthing i knew she wanted and after i thougth it was going well she says to me " i dont want you to stay tonight, i dont mean it in a bad way" obviously i was abit hurt, upset tried not to show it and in the end i did stay but she still saying we are on a break she loves me and only wants to see me maybe once a week.


Since this has happened things have slightly improved I'm now more confused if anything, I asked her 2 nights ago if we can just go out maybe a pub garden have a drink and a chat she agreed but when I arrived she said she didn't want to go to the pub anymore this left us with nothing to do and she started to complain of being bored and that I'll never change she was hungry so I brought her somthing to eat and we went back to hers , after a while at hers we was siting upstairs in her bed she asked me to give her a massage she asked me to take her cloths off for her as stuff and pretty much wanted it everywhere we didn't have sex, she then asked me to stay I was a little bit shocked, I went home in the morning and that night she was saying she had to get up early and walk 30 mins to go open up the shop (hint hint ) I replied do you want a lift and she said yeah.... We both have Sunday off and I said it would be nice to see you for a few hours her step sister who is all younger has come down this weekend and her reply I eventually Got after 4 attempts was you got to understand my step sister is down, now I completly understand that, what I dont understand is how this hasnt effected seeing her before I'm not taking her away from her infancy we normally change our plans so we involve her step sister which I completly don't mind, as long as I et to spen time with my gf I'm happy ..,. She is also saying she loves me now in text messages but I may only receive half the amount if messages I use to recieve where I would get a reply straight away from her it now takes up to 4 to 5 hours.....I'm confused tbh this is depressing me one minute things are looking good and the next it's not I'm not sure where I stand if I say somthing to her she has a go at me saying I don't understand why ur upset I've told u I love u still.

[cheekxs]

maybe she is not inlove anymore.
and really need a break. cause losing someone like grandma is not something you forget in one day.

it look likes you dont get it that she dont want to be hanging that much right now and you are being annoying by keeping
try to be all the time around her.

maybe you need to give her sometime , and if you dont hear noting, go and talk to her about what she want with that relationship.
And i think she may not be inlove anymore.

[cheekxs]

you cant force that! dont you have guy friends? buddy's? go out with them do male stuff.

cause its like you want to be all the time in her ass.
if she wants it it okay. but like she dont want it right now , so its like you are pushing to hard.

[Chris_704]

you cant force that! dont you have guy friends? buddy's? go out with them do male stuff.

cause its like you want to be all the time in her ass.
if she wants it it okay. but like she dont want it right now , so its like you are pushing to hard.

Well the week before she was complaining that the evening I go out with my mates I could be using to see her , now Ive stopped seein them for her she is complaining she sees me too much?

[cheekxs]

dont you have your own opinion ? does she have to tell you how high to jump also?

[Chris_704]

I do have my own opinion but the reason I came here is to ask for other ppl opinon and advice is that ok?

[NCgirl]

If she says she wants space, give it to her! Tell her when she's ready to be together again, then she can call you. She basically "friend" booty-called you the other night when she wanted you to come over but not spend the night. She was lonely, and wanted a friend but didn't want to be your girlfriend. Don't give her the satisfaction of going over there the moment she contacts you. Only go over there if she wants to reconcile and get back together with you.

[cheekxs]

nO its not. and if you have your own why dont you give it to her?
all you say is she told you to do this do that.

you really need to join your homies. and leave her alone!

[smackie9]

Sometimes a death will make people realize their mortality, and will start to reflect on their life, what they have accomplished, etc. Then ask themselves "am I really happy with my life? could I do more? maybe I need to make changes?"

Maybe she wants this time to reassess her life and your relationship. So be patient with her, give her, her space and see where it goes. I would give it a month (if you are willing). If things do not improve, it would be best to just call it quits.

If she wants to see you, decline her offer. Tell her you are wanting her to have her space so she can figure out what she wants and it would be best to not see each other until she does.

[heartonmysleeve]

I agree with smackie - give her space, and be patient. Make plans with your friends, and if she seems upset because you could be spending time with her I suggest saying something like "I enjoy spending time with you, and would love to make plans together soon, but right now I am busy. Can I call you later to make plans for tomorrow? Why don't you think about something we could do together." That way it tells her your not just sitting around waiting for her - but you are there and you want to be with her.

[johndemi]

Don't be so rude Dude! Give her space, maybe because there are things she's been going through in which you didn't know. Hang out with your friends and make yourself busy. After all, if she really loves you, she'll be the one who'll make it up with you.