We're on a break.. Don't know what to do!?

[Sad_Lad]

Okay guys, to be honest I'm am not in the right state of mind to write coherent sentences right now so I'm gonna break it down nice and simply in note form.


Basic info:

- I'm 18, my girlfriend is slightly younger
- We've been together for two years
- We are each other's first serious relationship
- I've just finished school, she's still there

Build up:

-Pretty happy together the majority of the time, I love her.
-Some incidents have occurred (to be explained)
- Recently things have begun to change (more fights, she seems a bit more distant etc)

Reasons for taking a break:

- She can't forgive me for attempting to break up with her 8 months into the relationship (got back together the next day)
- I've done some stupid things with other girls which she found out about (never cheated on her though)
- She feels burdened by the relationship
- She isn't happy about my plans to go to university next year
- She is against the fact that I don't want her talking to her ex who is still chasing her after all this time, and tells me 'he's done nothing to you so why can't i speak to him', and seems determined to talk to him
- She isn't sure she feels the same way anymore

Current situation:

-Last night... was our 2nd year anniversary so we went out to dinner. Again she was acting weird and distant, but this time more so. So we went for a walk and sat down to talk. We talked things over, she cried, and ended up telling me she wanted 'a break'. She then went off with her friends and I went home.

-Today... I was at working at the beach (lifeguard) and she was there and approached me on multiple occasions telling me she loved me etc. So i asked her if she had made up her mind yet and she said that she was still confused and didn't know what to do. But she was afraid of taking the time to think incase I would move on and she would lose me. She then went on to tell me that she had been speaking to her ex for the past week behind my back and wanted me to know about it.

My thoughts:

- I know the textbook answer here; "She's just not that into you", "The honeymoon period is over", "Get over it". But we've been together for 2 years and it's not that easy, I love her and want to be with her more than anything, but not if she isn't committed to the relationship or has some buried feelings for her ex (which she denies). She says she's willing to make up if I 'change a few things about myself', but i insisted on her clearing up her mind before we come to terms. I'm in a very bad place right now and have no idea what to do.

I need help

[cheekxxs]

you just inlove with her. thats not love. and i think you 2 young to use some of the words like anniversary. you are not married.

she is over you. move on, or get hurt.

[surfhb]

You need to let her know How you feel and put the ball in her court. Once its there you need to seriously consider dating other girls to see if you are truly happy with her. If we all dated the same women since we were 16, we'd all be married to our first loves. i guarantee you, you will be a different person in 4 years.....then a different person in another 4. Embrace that and date around...