Advice on this relationship- PLEASE HELP ME LADIES

[LoveBobo]

Hi everyone,

Where to start. I have never asked for relationship advice before so please bear with me! Please read the whole story and your feedback is most appreciated!

I have been in a relationship for the last 4 years. We met, started a relationship, we were inseparable. If I was to describe her and her beautiful soul, I would be here all day, I mean that! The thought of her is never far from my mind. A year later, she fell in love with me (I was hesitant about it- and she knew, its not a trust issue, but love for me is unconditional), and showed me the happiest times of my life. We started to get really involved. Two years in, her family (mother) eventually put pressure on her to leave me, citing that my culture etc would not accept her and that she was setting herself up for a heart break. The funny thing is that her mother introduced her to me and encouraged the relationship as I knew her mother before her. Anyway we broke it off for mere days, she came back and we continued our relationship almost secretly. For the next two years, we stayed together, and we became closer and closer with each day, she was my life. She moved to another city and we still continued to see each other and were still an inseparable item, we would see each other regularly, she would send so many letters of love, her words are nothing like I have ever read before. Eventually, I fell in love (real love!) with her last year. I knew she was torn through the second half of the relationship because of her mother's disapproval of the relationship but she hung on (after many attempts at leave me- she would return after days) and I grew more in love with her and knew she was the one for me. We fought for us. I am to blame as she wanted marriage and she made it clear and I never let her into my immediate family (don't take judgement yet!). Recently, she departed on an open ended overseas trip, and she promised to keep in touch and most importantly, to see me before she left, she didn't. She knows how much I love her, I am not like most guys, I treated her like no other and her words can prove this. I had a lot hinged on seeing her before she left, I had it all planed. Finally to make her dream come true and make her my bride, and explain why I needed to wait (Finish my medical post graduate degree and have a stable job for a bride). I told my parents and they were more than happy with my plans and I waited this long for her to meet them because that was the final step, the girl they meet is the one for me. They knew all about her during the years however. I think she wanted to seal the deal early on, but she wasn't ready, I wasn't ready.

Anyway, she has gone for two months now. I received an email from shortly after she departed explaining that she will always love me but her affection had lessened for me because "its not the same for her any more". She spoke of our differences (culture/background) and that I deserved better and that she doesn't want to be selfish. Essentially, she is ending the relationship- for the final time I feel. I knew this was coming, I knew it the day she left without seeing me. Her promises of love and staying in touch fade with each day. Her last phone conversation with me the day before she left was that she imagined that she would return to me after her trip (few months). While I am used to these mixed signals, I am rather confused about what to make of them this time. It has been two months and I not a single word from her. I appreciate that her Internet access is limited and that she is occupied but I can't get her out of my head, I never could, even after four years, and I thought she would have made contact by now. She always told me that what we had was what people dream of and that we are so luck to have it early in out lives, I know this now!

How do I feel? I love her, I do. I want to be with her forever, she wanted this before me but now I want it too. I am not doing this out of loneliness or for a lack of a better idea. I am not afraid of chasing what I want. For the first time in my life, I have never been so sure about something! I wanted to book a plane ticket and see her and tell her again how I feel but a) I don't know if it is a good idea ad b)very hard to track down her exact location in Europe. My heart sighs because for the first time in our relationship, I am not in control or can't do anything. Hell, I don't even know when she is coming back. The international phone number she gave me doesn't work. I thought I would write my feelings down the day she left and I have endless pages of poems here with me yet the word goodbye is not any closer to my lips, I feel even more for her. It is really starting to hurt me, never have I been like this before, a wound un-healing, I am constantly reminded of her. Everywhere I go, all the buildings know her name like a photographic memories of love.

I need advice on what I should do. Should I forget about her even though my heart desires her above all? I sent an email explaining my love for her a few days ago. Is this all I can do without being clingy? I am not the clingy or jealous type but these days I can't define my state of mind. Is it too late? Have I lost her to the world?

Question, feedback welcome!

[Rinabear]

She was ready then and you weren't.. Now, you are ready and she had that whole time to RETHINK about getting married.
That's the problem.

You should just forget about her and move on to the next one.

[Rinabear]

You are ready to get married now, so for the next woman who comes along.. there won't be any excuse besides knowing if that's the one
who you want to spend the rest of your life with.

[LoveBobo]

This is true. Although she wasn't ready for many reasons! Thanks for your input

[cheekxs]

culture is something very personal. so if you cant find each other on that , the best thing is to break up.

respect her decision.