Girlfriend neglecting herself

[ghost712]

Hey everyone,

I've known this girl for about a year and she's only 22 years of age. She recently losted her job and is one one year of unemployment pay. She was mildly worried in the beginning, but that's not the case anymore. For my job, I had to travel out of town and was gone for about two weeks and when I returned, I discovered that she hadn't done anything to take care of herself since I left.

She hasn't changed her clothes (only wearing a bra and a pair of underwear, both incredibly dirty), cleaned her apartment (dishes are dirty, bathroom is disgusting, etc. Smells really bad), or took a shower in the last two weeks. She went to the store to buy a ton of junk food and has snacked on nothing but junk food since. She's even gotten so careless of herself that she literally wets herself and doesn't do anything about it.

I asked her why she is doing this to herself and she tells me "I don't need to take care about myself anymore. As long as I am on unemployment pay, there is no point." along with some other careless stuff.

She's truly a beautiful girl, has had a lot of boyfriends in the past and I really don't want to dump her for this if I can do something about it. Is their anything I can do to change her attitude about self neglect? She's not taking drugs or depressed. At least not that I of.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You can't do anything about it, unless you're going to employ her. Has she tried looking for a job? Tell her to get off her lazy, nasty ass and look for a job. Personally I think you should just leave her, and tell her to come back when she gets her shit together.

[toknow]

Yes, you could take the easy way out and dump her, or you could help her get herself together. People losing their jobs is nothing new and it's become worse lately, there is a reason why she feels the way she does, it's tough out there, if she is making more on unemployment than she would on a job, can you blame her for not getting one. All-in-all, she isn't motivated and needs your help, and she needs love and care.

[TheCafeTerrace]

I agree with toknow here - just make sure she washes and stops wetting herself. Encourage her to volunteer while she looks for a new job. It will give her some self-esteem and purpose to her days.

[cheekxs]

Maybe she dont know how to deal with difficulty when she is facing them or appointment/
Or this lost of her job was not expected and hit her hard.

Howw old are you?

And feeling sorry for hr all the time will not help her. Its good that you care.
But be able to tell her the truth and let her take the action she need to take.

Cause i think it maybe hard for her to lose job, for anyone its notting funny.
But its also part of life.
If the lost of her job is her issue right now i think she needs to wake up and
just go search for another one.
Just talk to her about it, and that its not okay how she is dealing with it.
And there is more jobs she can find, but she needs to go out and look for it.

And job doesn't define who she is, its just part of what she do for living.
So she dont have to let the situation effect how she take care of her self.

And maybe you can go do something nice with her.Like tell her to clean herself and put some nice clothes , cause you have a surprise for her and then go do something in the nature.
Or to the zo with her.
Cause nature often helps you relax and clear up your mind.and also realize a lot of things you didn't see before

[cheekxs]

or contact her family

[ghost712]

Thanks for all of the replies. She told me that she enjoys wetting herself and being careless. She plans to act this way for at least a year until her unemployment is done.

She lives in a decent apartment so her living conditions might not be accepted by the landlord. That's another worry.

I told her all of this and did what some of you said, but she stubbornly says "I don't care" and smiles.

She's truly not depressed, more happy but absolutely careless and acting as a slob. I'm her. Only true friend and she's kinda mine, so I don't think I will dump her (at least yet)

Any other ideas or experiences similar? Thanks much.

[j-white]

What is this unemployment money? Redundancy money from her old company or money from the state to help people in tough times?
Either way this sounds like a strange situation, she doesn't sound depressed. My partners mother just lay in bed for weeks after her father died but this sounds entirely different.
Maybe you could show her pictures of her old self and tell her exactly how she appears to you in the state she is in now.
Tell her this isn't the person you got into a relationship with, try to emotionally blackmail her basically!
And as one poster said, you should definately contact her family I think. Her behaviour isn't normal and the situation could quickly escalate.

[surfhb]

This thread is a joke anyway. Troll alert

[vashti]

If you aren't trolling, that girl is mentally ill and needs professional help. You can't fix her.