Looking for some perspective...

[Indestructible]

I find myself in a situation that I'm not sure how I feel about, or how to go about handling it, so I'm looking for some perspective and input.

For reference, I'm a 23 year old guy, and I've never dated, had a girlfriend, etc. Needless to say, I'm not very well versed in becoming more than friends with girls.

Anyway... This girl and I both work part time at a store, and we've worked together for about a year now. While we don't talk to or see each other out of work, I've become pretty good friends with her, which is a bit unusual for me, because I'm generally pretty reserved and introverted (she, on the other hand, gets along okay with everyone, so I don't know that what we have right now is "special" or anything like that, it's just "special" for me, because that never happens for me). I've started to realize that I'm liking her more and more.

Unfortunately, as soon as I started to realize this, I overheard another male coworker flirting with her and trying to get her to go out with him. I don't know whether or not she ever agreed to, but from the little I did hear, she seemed to have mixed feelings on the idea. It sort of bugged me, because this other guy is kind of a known "player"/ "womanizer" (she, herself, knows this, and she and I have even kind of joked about him in the past), and it bothered me that she'd even entertain the idea of getting with him.

For now, I'm trying to stay away from them as much as I can, because, well, I just don't want to know about any of that. It also works against me that they both work in the same department and get to spend a lot of time together while I'm often elsewhere. I don't think they'll "date", but I have to assume they'll probably end up hooking up (not because she's "easy" or anything like that, but because when he wants a girl, he gets the girl), and... I'm just not really sure how I'd feel about dating her after the fact. I mean, I know every girl is going to have exes, but the three of us all work together, I'd even very, very loosely consider this other guy a "friend". I just feel like it would be kind of awkward and uncomfortable, yanno? Like I said, I don't mind a girl having exes, but I'd rather not know them and/ or see them on a regular basis... Not to mention, they'd still get to spend a good bit of time together at work, and I'd be concerned that if I were dating her, he'd still kinda flirt with her and possibly try to get with her again.

So, I just don't know how I feel about this, or what to do about any of it. I really like her, and I don't want to miss an opportunity here, but I'm a bit turned off by whatever it is she and this other guy may or may not have going on.

Thoughts?

[TheCafeTerrace]

You should ask her out soon then, or spend the next however many months regretting it.

[livefreeordie]

This doesn't seem so hard. Tell her how you feel, ask her out. Like TheCafeTerrace says, if you don't you'll regret it. If she still choses the other guy, then you'll know that is what she chose... But if you never give her another option...

[Indestructible]

Whoops, sorry for "stealing" your topic title, by the way, livefreeordie. I must've skimmed over your title without reading it, then while I was making my post, I couldn't think of a title, and this popped into my head, without realizing there was a very similar title right near mine. Heh.

[cheekxs]

Dude you give me headache with all that crap you talk about you dont like girls with exes.

you are losing time , by waste time on what he is doing , while he is doing his job to get her.

this is why some people end up posting sad topics about guys that came and took the girl they wanted.


you suppose to worry about your plan to get her.
not what other guys do,

[smackie9]

You are going to have to suck it up sunshine. For one thing just because they are guy and girl and have parts that can fit together doesn't mean anything is going to happen. They are just socializing, and at time their might be some "harmless" flirting. This is very common in most workplaces. Secondly, girls will get hit on no matter where they are, at the DMV, at the bank, grocery store, pumpin gas into their car....it's a fact there will be no control over it with any girl you go out with. It's a fact of life so you better get over it.

You are already acting like a jealous twit and you haven't even asked her out yet. Get off your ass and get her number, say you would like to take her out sometime. If she turns you down, oh well it happens to everyone and it's not the end of the world....it will not have anything to do with buddy there, it's just the fact she doesn't see you as BF material. You are 23 you better grow frickin balls if you want a GF.