Pointless questions

[heartach]

I am sorry if this is an annoying question but i am desperate. And yes i know i put alot on here about my situation. I think i am mentally challenged when it comes to understanding certain things and not knowing when to say the right things and say wrong thigs all the time and so it is taking a toll on my marriage. There are some things i should just know but i dont due to how i was raised and do to my As purgers and BP. Needless to say my husband has his hands full with me. And he has sexual anorexia so he is a handful too.


Well as u have seen in my pasts post i have made a mess of my marriage by snooping and calling him out on a girl he has a crush on and being jealous and controlling..and that know i am trying to find out the best way to patch things up and hopefully get my husband back. We are working on counseling but today we had a fight becasue he was grouchy and i asked to many questions. Needless to say he shut down and i asked if i ask pointless questions and he said yes and i asked if his friends ever ask pointless questions and he said no. The friends i am referring to are women and one of them is his crush. I fell he became ina bad mood the other day cause he saw her at work. Seems like whenever he sees her he becomes grouchy when he comes home and i don't know what to do and i ask questions.

What are pointless questions in a relationship? How do i stop? How do i find out what he wants and needs if i dont ask? I am not no damn mind reader and he plays games. Tired of it. He tells me one thing but he will tell his girlfriends something else. How do i tell him that his crush puts him in a bad mood after he sees her and that even our kids pick up on it?

Please give me some insight on pointless questions and how i can find out what he wants and be one of the guys. Im dying inside here and i dont think he cares

[smackie9]

Best to ignore him if he is grumpy by going off, doing something to keep yourself preoccupied. That should stop you from the temptation of asking questions. Guys don't like to "talk" about their feelings....they just want it to go away. I know this is sexist but your home should be a haven, a place to relax, something for him to look forward to when he get in the door (nice dinner on the table, clean house, kids quiet). He's in a bad mood, not when he sees her, but knowing what awaits him when he gets home.....a wife that gets all up his butt about everything.


I feel you are not getting the proper perspective here....you can only see things with your assumptions, due to your insecurity. You just assume why he feels the way he does....that only aggravates the situation with you and him. You need to let things roll off your back, stop sweating over all the small stuff, and give him space.......just get off his back.

Just let the therapy guide you along, stop forcing things.

[IndiReloaded]

Troll, lol. Sexual aneorexia. Is that where you have sex until you throw up? Nice.

[Sixpacj]

What are pointless questions in a relationship? How do i stop?

"Are you OK?"

"I'm fine"

"No, but really, are you OK?"

"Yes"

"I'm sorry for asking but ARE YOU OKAY?"

"Don't you ****ing understand simple ENglish? I'm fine"

"Yeah, sorry, just wanted to know if you WERE OKAY?

Shuts up and leaves/divorces/smacks the bitch.

Do you understand now, more or less? How do you stop? Well, how about by stopping? ;-)

Good luck.

[cheekxs]

If you already open a topic about this, why another one?

Did you use or do something with the advices we give you in the other topic?

cause its a waste of time to keep ask but not getting to work.

And how old are you!!!???


Cause you ask like you are completely new in everything.

Maybe you need to start reading some books about marriage and relationships and especially christian books
have very good guidance about marriage. Cause they support marriage 2!

And i think you need to world on your self esteem. Cause when i confront i dont ask people to judge my question if its stupid or a genius one(like really?!wake up!), cause its not my
problem.
Reading this topic makes me think like this dude treat you some way and you are desperate for him to love and be with you and to satisfy him, and you dont think about what HE have to do also from his part.
And that there are boundaries and respect is also important.

And i think maybe you dont talk. You do more like a whine thing.
Just get to the point and be clear in what you think, feel, and want him to do!

And also asking advice here or where ever, reading books, going to console and all , that is good its a good step in
the good direction.
But if you go back home doing or practice noting of it, its useless!
And also it takes 2 to go to tango!


*And i think a good therapist will put you guys in action to at a certain point or right away when he have a good view of the issue! like give you guys "homework" to practice at home and stuff.I think that is what
you guys need. Cause there is to much talking and less action!
if the therapist is not the one you need, get another one.

[cheekxs]

And you are not responsible for how your husband react.

So if you have questions you can ask them. Without asking him if its a good one or smart one!( sounds stupid to ask that)!
So keep it real. He need to be mature and communicate with you on a certain level!

Get some back bone. If you dont have there are books and classes about that 2.
Stop sitting all day asking questions and stuff, and act like you need to humble yourself when your husband treat you certain way or like someone else
or comes home moody cause of a crush .(if that is really so)!
Thats not your problem. It have noting to do with you. so he need to be good to you!
And not react that on you.

And you have the right to tell him that also! instead of acting like you need to feel sorry for him. What the hack.....................!

[cheekxs]

And i think also maybe cause the way you act( insecure) makes him react some kind of irritated.

[Sixpacj]

nice, informative answers from the cheeky one. One experienced man... Oh, wait, shit, only that SHE isn't... :-)

Cheeks, what business do you have spamming this 'ask a male' thread?