What does it all mean??

[tigger1969]

Hi Guys
Im hoping the male members here can give me a bit of help.
Ive been having a relationship with a guy for 6 mths......we were close friends for 6 mths before that. Ive never fully trusted him due to past relationship pain and hurt.....i give him his dues he tried .
Just over a week ago we split up....he said he couldnt take it anymore. Then he says hes wants remain friends. i found that hard so asked for few days space...he agreed. He broke that early by sending me a message saying he missed me. (We have had daily contact for a year now). Last night same thing "he misses me". Yet today he admits hes really down etc. Wont tell me whats wrong at all.(i suspect its his sis who is very ill with cancer) Says he just wants bury his head in the sand. But i feel its personal to me.... And i dont get why the urgency to talk and break the no contact to then say almost nothing again???
Any help be great!

[smackie9]

This has nothing to do with him being a guy, he is just being human. It's obvious that you still mean something to him enough to turn to you for some much needed support.

[tigger1969]

But thats the problem.....I dont feel hes letting me support him as I dont now what the problem is.

[cheekxs]

Almost every break up have a period after that where you will feel sad, hurt, missing your ex and stuff.
But you need to go true that till you heal from the break up little by little.
And soon it all will be less painful and missing.

By jump into lets be friends thing or keep hanging or send mixed massages you are standing in the way of the healing proses.
And when you break up you cant already start talking about being friends.
You eed to go true the healing period first so you can see at the end what it made you, and where you stand. and then you may make that choices.
Cause when you are out of a relationship and health you often have a better view of the whole reality!

And if his sister is sick i think its for shore a emotional period for him.
So he may be sending mixed massages.
But you can be there if he wants to , for him as a support, without focusing on getting back or love stuff.
Cause it canbe that he just need just someone to talk to cause of the much stuff he have to deal with.

So you dont have to jump into that fantasy that oh so he wants me that bad.
It can just be a emotional reaction from him.

[smackie9]

But thats the problem.....I dont feel hes letting me support him as I dont now what the problem is.

He just broke up with you and is considering your feelings....

[smackie9]

I feel with the stress of your relationship, has compounded the stress of dealing with his sister's illness, so he had to let go. He might be thinking he reacted too hastily and could have made more of an effort to resolve the issues, OR he is just desperately in need having the friendship back. Anyone (male or female) in his position would find it difficult to sort out their feelings. If you give some reassurance, that there will be no obligation it might help him step forward for the help offered.