hello all. I'm a 31 year old straight white male. I live in California. i'll try to keep this as short as possible. i got out of a (bad and troubled) two year relationship in june of 2011. that relationship came straight after an equally disastrous 3 year one, so we're talking about 5 years of my life which were a sentimental and emotional failure for me. after about 6 months of recovering i decided i wanted to start dating again but stay the hell away from any sort of relationship or sentimental involvement. I just wanted to be on my own and enjoy my time with my self, heal, collect my thoughts and emotions, and explore my "singleness" by dating around and keeping things simple and fun. So I joined a dating site and started meeting women. then I met this asian girl, a great person, and very attractive too, and we got along great right from the start, had lots of fun and even developed a mutual respect and unerstanding for each other. we would really kick it in great ways, spent lots of time together and enjoy getting to know eachother. we dated (monogamously) for about 5 months till she started opening up to me of her growing feelings for me. I freaked out cause I found my self in front of a decision to make. she was asking me to take it to the next level and bring on board some sort of commitment. it's understandable, we had a great 5 months together and we got close. but i was not ready to commit, or give up my being single. I still wanted to keep my options open and be "free", so i told her it would be best to call it a day if her feelings for me were growing. i did not wish to hurt her in any way, i respected her and liked her too much as a person to be selfish. it was hard, she cried, I was sad, but we parted ways. for some reason it was impossible for us to stop talking though. we would keep in touch by text and gtalk from time to time and check in with each other. i kept dating other girls, i think she went on to date other guys too, but we kept constantly in touch, till inevitably we ended up sitting together in front of a drink at a bar again, to "say hello" to each other. now we keep doing this about once a week, we hang out, we both agreed to not kiss and not sleep together and we are managing to do that somehow, and we both agree that it's very hard not to. i think we both agree that we prefer to see eachother in a odd way like this to see what happens, and keep our impulses at bay, rather than not see eachother or talk at all. we clearly like each other a lot and i know she is waiting for me to make up my mind, and since she doesn't sleep with me or even kiss me, she feels like she's in a safe place and she can manage to hang out with me. bottom line, I really like her, i really respect her and i do have feelings for her. but when i'm out on my own i always find my self attracted to other women and i want to stay single to meet new people, party and enjoy my self. i am torn in these two opposite directions and i don't know what to do. what is your advice? i would really like to know what you think about this messed up, and a bit sad, situation. thanks!