She was my first, I wasn't hers...

[leight69]

I was in an 8 month relationship last year. (im in university) It was my first (and only) serious relationship. Just before christmas she broke it off, and I was devastated. In that time, I was very very hurt and slowly recovered. For a long while now, I know what I don't want her back, and she recently made contact with me again. Here's the thing, (back to the relationship) She had slept with her ex boyfriends before me, and really pressured me into sleeping with her...although I wanted to, I didnt want it to progress as quickly as it did. And I had always envisioned my first time would also have been with someone who's first it was. Now I'm honestly of the persuasion that I don't mean what I want to mean to her. In situations where I've seen her, and poeple have been around, everyone thinks I've moved on, and all is well. The reality is, if I could take my virginity back I would, and I regret having slept with her. Because I dont think I will ever mean to her, what she means to me, and that place has been reserved for someone else. I`ve realised that I've been horribly scarred by her, and I can't move past the regret and wonder. I'd like to meet someone else, but everyone I meet nobody excits me. ..anyway, any thoughts?

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Well, I don't know what I could tell you, actually I wanted some insight from you. I'm 19 and still a virgin, my most recent girlfriend and I were so completely in love and we both wanted each other to be our first. Problem is she broke off our relationship but still wanted to have a sexual relationship, that was fine as I still wanted her to be my first. But then she went to Texas for this internship and lost her virginity to some guy she had talked to online a while back. I was crushed and now I don't know if I still want her to be my first, I just really want to lose it to someone because it feels like everyone is something that I'm not. Like they've evolved and I'm left behind. Any advice you have you be great.

[leight69]

Here's what Il'l say. Don't give you virginity away just because you feel like everyone else is doing it. (As it turns out only half the people are by 20...). It depends on your view of virginity and how you value it. I hated it when I was one, then once I gave it away I thought it meant something it turns out it didnt. Maybe its just me, but I say give your virginity to someone who is giving theirs to you. Cause you can give it away to just anyone, thats super not hard to do. But odds if it isnt her first it wont mean a thing. But maybe thats just me.

[Illusional]

here's two different things to think about. why cry over spilled milk?? there's nothing you can do to change the past reguardless of how much you want your virginity back, IT'S NEVER COMMING BACK.

secondly, to be honest, girls love sex... they want to feel just as good as we do. let's say you the next girl you meet wants to have sex with you at whatever point in your relationship. the more experience you have to please her, the better she will feel. true she won't mind waiting for you to gain experience with her, but wil she want to teach you? probably so, but it's better to be ready for action, rather than to learn along the way. catch my drift?? raverboy

[leight69]

thanks for the reminder... I know exactly what you're saying and part of me says that too. If only it were easier to control my emotions, just gut feelings that come, one can change the facade, and howone acts, but it still hurts. You are right though...live and learn, just learning sometimes takes scrapes and bruises along the way....i know ill get over it, I just wish it didnt take so damn long for me to do that (and a lil longer for her...) - but my point of view on virginity is its something you dont appreciate untill its gone...if you care about it in the slightest, dont waste it.

[shafkore]

Let me share my experiences with you fellas. I am a 19 year old male. I love women. I love sexual-related activities. I've come close a-many-a times to losing the ol' cherry.

Alcoholics experience something known as a "moment of clarity" in their drunken episodes. For me, I have this moment directly after orgasm. lol. When I would reach orgasms by oral means with my partner, I would always thank God that I was still a virgin and I hadn't lost it with the partner I was with at the time. Even though, at the time of 'making-out' I wanted (and was ready) to have sex. Once things cool down, I realize, I only truly want to lose it to someone I love. I try not to think as time as a burden; for all good things come to those who wait.

Now on the issue of you guys saying it should be mandatory for the other person to be a virgin as well --- I do not agree. When the Cupid darts us in the ass, virginity means nothing. If I was passionately in love with a woman, and she was not a virgin, I wouldn't think twice about losing myself to her. Of course, tis only my opinion.

Your friend,