Need your Opinion GUys!

[Alexa103]

So I am just wondering if you sleep with a guy too soon, and then hes ignoring you!
Do you think everything is lost ..or is there any chance at all to turn this thing around?

The whole situation is a bit complicated but still ..give me your opinions!

THanks

[searock]

We need more information. How soon is "too soon"? For how long did you know the guy?

[Alexa103]

weell I've known him for about 2,3 months now, though we never officially started dating or anything .. we just met few times, got along really well.
and it always seemed like we would be interested in me ..I stayed over at his place 2 times without anything happening. But I realized he might be after that one thing.
And then it happened! and now well he texted me afterwards and even asked to see me again ..but we never did, and now hes totally ignoring me ..

oh and I slept with him about 2nd half weeeks ago .. :/

[Cerby]

If you sleep with a guy before you're dating him, you become a toss-away. Sounds rough, but as a guy who had a few good clubbing years, I would never legitimately consider dating someone who I had slept with prior to an actual "date". If I did see them again it would be for the sex, and not for the company.

[Alexa103]

well I guess we did have ooone "date" ..though I know what you mean ..I think youre right .. I just don't want to hear it !

BUt Cerby ..there might be exceptions ?

[Alexa103]

btw how should I react when I see him again?

[smackie9]

OK so when you ingore someone, does that mean you are interested in them? No duh. He got what he wanted (sex) now he is done with you because he never wanted anything else. If he wanted to date you he would have aready shown an interest in doing so at the beginning. This is all pretty straight forward.

[Alexa103]

yeah I do realize that! I'm just asking if you guys could give me any suggestions how to possibly turn this around or what to do best when I see him again .. I know its probably a waste of time and won't work!
but maybe there some advice or somethiiing ! just tiny ideas

[Boisdevie]

Call me dim but is this just notches on the bedpost? If men like sex then why would a man ignore someone that was giving them what they want?

[SheffieldLad]

Call me dim but is this just notches on the bedpost? If men like sex then why would a man ignore someone that was giving them what they want?

Because some men respect women a little more than that (more than considering them notches on the bedpost, I mean)....

Unfortunately, in Alexa's case, it sounds like the guy is just a dick

[TheCafeTerrace]

...then it happened! and now well he texted me afterwards and even asked to see me again ..but we never did, and now hes totally ignoring me ..

oh and I slept with him about 2nd half weeeks ago .. :/

It's possible he thought that your initial lack of interest was some kind of reflection on his performance. Guys think a lot about how girls perceive their skills in bed, and when you don't make an effort to see him again after he asked you it'll be interpreted as a bad sign.

Are you wanting to sleep with him again, date him or just be friends? The first one is easy, it just takes a dirty text and hopefully he'll come running. The second one is trickier because you'll have to make sure he knows you want a date and not just looking to hook up again (I'd suggest not sleeping with him after the first date if you want a meaningful relationship). The third you need to have a coffee or something and talk it all over, how you both feel and stuff like that.

[Alexa103]

well thats exactly the thing, we did write two time afterwards and he asked if we would be hanging out again ..
and after that he never responded to my text ..

Thank you heCafeTerracehe ..for the response .. I know it was probably my fault cause I knew that sex would ruin the outview of a serious relationship
I just didn't know what we were and for once I wasn't overthinking everythink like I normally do..appereantly that didn't pay off in a good way.

I do want to be more than friends I think, but I wouldn't want to come off needy and write him to meet me somewhere ..hes definitely not thinking about anything serious, I would believe.

Does it sound like a good plan to just act casual and norml around him ..and whenever he tries to initiate something ..just make it clear that I won't hook up with him until it actually means something?

[smackie9]

Call me dim but is this just notches on the bedpost? If men like sex then why would a man ignore someone that was giving them what they want?

He doesn't want emotional commitment with her, just wanted to get his rocks off......."I need sex, oh she will do", wham bam ty ma'am.

[smackie9]

Does it sound like a good plan to just act casual and norml around him ..and whenever he tries to initiate something ..just make it clear that I won't hook up with him until it actually means something?

Communication is key....he is not a mind reader nor is any other guy, make it clear you are looking for something more than FWB.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

There's really no such thing as sleeping with a guy too soon, and waiting to sleep with someone doesn't mean they like you. If the guy likes you, he likes you. By the same token, I've also waited months to sleep with girls just out of spite for them making me wait. I would just keep chilling with other girls while waiting, and then drop her once she gave it up. I haven't done it in quite some time, and while it is mean, I do think people need to be knocked off their high horse, as well as realize they can't control everything.