how do I show my husband respectav

[heartach]

I gues I haven't been showing respect the last 10 years. When we have talked in the past he has told me he hasn't felt respected. I thought I was but I guess I haven't. We have bEen going through some tough times and because I haven't been there for hom in the past he has fEelings for another woman he has worked with and sometimes go to movies with and confides in her and a couple other women instead of me since I haven't showed him respect and over reacted to things he has sad and done. I have snooped in the past but my gut was twlling something wasn't right. How do I give my husband respect? What is respect to men? I guess you can say I have a hard time seeing it cause I have so much hurt and anger and feel un loved since there has been times he pics his friend that is a girl over me and it feels like he cares about his lady friends more then me. I feel I owe it to him so it would be great if I could get a mans idea on what respect is.

[TheCafeTerrace]

This is a question you should ask him.

[vashti]

It sounds like he is using your supposed "lack of respect" to justify his own bad behavior. Based on what you posted, it looks more like he has trouble respecting YOU.

[Cerby]

It sounds like he is using your supposed "lack of respect" to justify his own bad behavior. Based on what you posted, it looks more like he has trouble respecting YOU.

This is exactly it. He is a scumbag who is making himself the victim so he can continue being an asshole.

[VincenzoG91]

Show your husband the respect that he deserves by hiring a good divorce lawyer.

[Sixpacj]

It sounds like he is using your supposed "lack of respect" to justify his own bad behavior. Based on what you posted, it looks more like he has trouble respecting YOU.

Another BS answer form a penis-less wannabe man ;-) Will, you never learn? She is asking males precisely because this type of "advice" brought her to where she is.

"It sounds like... " of couse, that's the how she phrased it. Yes, go on and "help her". Tell her "it's not her fault". Cant you see, female, you are doing the OP a disservice?

OP, I find your question strange, don't you know how to show respect? Do you jump at your man's throat all the time cause "ge certainly doesn't love you" or some BS? Simply stop doing that?

How do you show respect to your grandfather? Your boss if you have any? Your father?

[VincenzoG91]

Sixpacj, read some of the OP's other posts at this site, and you will see a different picture. Her husband doesn't deserve any respect. But the OP will keep asking us questions in hopes that we will tell her some magical way to save her marriage to this jerk.

[vashti]

Another BS answer form a penis-less wannabe man ;-) Will, you never learn? She is asking males precisely because this type of "advice" brought her to where she is.

Come on, Neo. You know none of the regulars pay the least bit of attention to what forum a question is posted in. You are also correct in that if she really wants to stay with this man, she is going to just have to learn to be better at playing dumb and not questioning his behavior. Nagging won't change him into a prince.

[Wakeup]

Op: You seriously need to read some literature on codependency. If you know what ails you, you'll be able to stop trying to control outcomes and feeling awful because you're failing at it or, you'll get enough strength and self-worth to get away from a man that clearly dis-respects you and then wonders why you react to his poor behaviour.

As Vashti has said.. nagging and trying to control how he is and what he does is never going to gain you the changed man you want him to be. If he won't go to councelling with you, then go alone and if you can't afford councelling then get online to find a Codependents Annonomous meeting near you and go get the help and support you need.

Good luck.