post break up politics

[Dibididamn]

hello,
( i tried to keep it short but hey..)
my situation: Basically broke up with my ex (3 year relationship),
mutual break up but also her blaiming me im not paying enough attention
etc etc. Anyway, she found a new guy in a short period of time, while we
remained friends and basically where going out a lot. So naturally I got depressed and so on.

Now, 3.5 months after still not completelly over that and her.
I was in no contact, spent a lot of time thinking and accepted.
I broke no contact once, to explain why im in no contact
she didnt really get it, she wants to be friends still, she sends happy emails.

The thing is, I want to keep her as a friend, but really now
is too early I am still hurt and all. Just for the future.

So, she keeps asking me to visit her, go out alltogether !
Now, I am bored of explaining and she's not getting y I am not going.
Last request is to attend her B-day party.
(sight of her making out with him doh!)
So I wan to decline, but the fact is all of our common friends,
but in her geographic proximity nowadays
don't get it either and me declining allways makes me a miserable
C**t in everyone's eyes..

so my solutions:
1. I explain again to her (i am bored of doing this, last option)
2. I tottaly shut her out
3. Reply , Oh, I am busy, another time (again)
4. .................................

Quite a long post for a simple question, but
the real question is how do I really treat the situation without totaly
isolating myself. thus the thread title.
Thanks.

[paco2244]

Just commenting....Why don't you just tell her how feel? That you can't go because your not completly over her, and the sight of her and her new "friend" will reopen some healed/healing wounds.

[bohemiandonut]

He already has!

Dibildamn, you have no obligation to attend this stupid party. Excuse yourself in any way you want. Personally, I would probably just say I couldn't make it.

Continue with no contact. The reason you're still fretting is because you haven't completely pulled the trigger yet (you're being weak, sissy.) So, just shut her out and focus on yourself.

After a while, she will stop e-mailing you. It might take a few angry/confused letters, but don't let it bother you. Don't be swayed by her propoganda. You need to do the best thing for you, and that is to get over this flighty moron.

You are a nice guy (too nice it seems), so take comfort in your own virtue. This is one of those chicks who is constantly in need of attention... DO NOT GIVE IT TO HER. She does not deserve it.

So, respond with a "Happy birthday, but I really can't make it to the gathering, sorry." That's all you need.

Peace.

[Dibididamn]

ye, dats what I did, thanks for the push.

respect.