My best friend and her long distance relationship

[thatguy771]

So over the years I had a long distance thing with a girl a few years older than me. We would get intimate and sexual on and off and we'd like it but sometimes it'd go too far. We decided to be friends until we meet up and hang out and then see what we want. She likes me a lot but I'm not 18 so we couldn't really go anywhere with it and be open to people about it so that was a part of waiting until I'm 18 and then hanging out.

I was content with this then, a guy she met online a couple months ago "asked her out". She was surprised when it happened and was crying when she told me about it because what we have is very special and she likes me a lot but we can't really take it anywhere right now because I'm not 18. She wants to try it out with him and see where it goes.

So here's their situation: They've never met. He lives in Europe and she's in Canada. They can't text and can barely talk on skype because of the time difference. When they do talk, it might be for 10 min and he'll fall asleep on her because it's so late for him. Or they'll just fall asleep on each other in a half hour. Some days, he'll fall asleep before she even gets online and they won't talk at all. Regardless, a lot of the time, they'll barely talk and she'll be left sad. It's hard enough now to hang out when he's not in school yet(she is), but in October, he'll be going to law school which I've heard is absolutely time-consuming, like he'll have to fully devote himself to that so I figure that if now is easy time but they can barely talk, they pretty much won't be able to talk at all when he's in school. She was skeptical about the relationship with him at first since he's so far away, she thought it might too hard to work anyway with how long distance it is and with time differences. They won't be able to meet up for a really long time, possibly years away.

But she still wants to meet up with me and see where it goes and I'll definitely be able to visit her finally in spring break or summer at the latest. I'll turn 18 in October(same time he goes to law school, interestingly) so that should definitely make her more comfortable with me and she'll see us as possible and her feelings might get stronger because we would actually be able to take it somewhere and be open about it to other people.

It's only been less than 2 weeks and they're already hitting bumps. As mentioned earlier, he'll fall asleep on her a lot which will leave her sad and then she'll come to me. He might fall asleep before they even talk and then they won't talk at all that day and she'll be really sad and come to me. Sometimes he'll go away from skype because he has to do something and he won't say what he has to do or for how long and she'll be waiting around for hours. But when she'll be away like that for 2 minutes, he'll freak out and demand to know what she's doing and think she's ignoring him or something. This leaves her feeling like it's a double standard where he can go and do stuff as he pleases but she can't and has to wait around forever. I think he's basically taking her for granted. Plus, the other day, they were talking for a few hours and me and her hadn't been able to talk for a few days, we missed each other. She told him she was gonna go talk to me for a little bit before I had to go to work and he got all upset. He's been whining and making her feel guilty for not being able to talk as much as he'd like to but she genuinely has school to deal with. He wants to hang out with her as much as possible before law school in October, since he'll have no time then. So he got upset when she wanted to leave her and go talk to me. They got in an argument and she said she promised and she missed me and stuff but he was still angry. Said 'don't bother calling back'. She came to me and said it was making her feel guilty and upset and like she just can't win. I think he's insecure, jealous and just doesn't know how to treat her. She's an extremely nice, patient girl and has defended it, saying he just misses her. But I think he needs to be less controlling.

So the bottom line is that they'll probably not be able to talk when he goes to law school and that'll fizzle out and not work like people have been saying, especially if he keeps making her sad or feel like crap. And in the meantime I'll be there for her and talk to her all the time that he's not able to.
She does like me a lot as more than a friend, I just need to turn 18 in october so she'll be more comfortable. I can hopefully rekindle it. Then I can definitely visit her first because of his tough schedule. Can this work in my favor? Thoughts?

[searock]

No, I am not reading all that.

[Boisdevie]

Sorry but could you get to the point in a lot few words, say less than a MILLION. Then some of us with our busy lives and low bullshit threshold might actually get around the reading it and perhaps even replying.

[thatguy771]

Ok, I shrunk it down. Thoughts?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Tell her to shut the **** up and quit bitching to you about some dude she's never met.

[Cerby]

Wow, forum is getting more and more hostile. If you don't like the post, don't reply.

OP, This girl is a fool, she clearly has some issue with having a local relationship. She ended an LDR with you, for an even further away LDR in Europe? She is out of her mind, and even you should start looking locally as well. This LDR thing is complete crap and doesn't constitute a relationship unless you're actually able to see the person once in a while. You have never met her and that means this is an online romance only.

You're young, find someone young and local and have some fun, this is a waste of your time.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Cerby, look at what we're having to deal with. It wasn't always like this. The amount of sheer nonsense has increased quite a bit since I started coming here.

[VincenzoG91]

I'm getting the impression that none of the people in this drama have ever met face-to-face. Is that true? The sexual stuff was just an online webcam thing or something like that?

[thatguy771]

Yes, online webcam.

[VincenzoG91]

Is there any good reason why you can't date locally?

[Lovethesun]

How old is this girl anyway?

[thatguy771]

late twenties.

[VincenzoG91]

She's a decade older than you, and you've never met in person. Realistically, this isn't going to work out for you. Start interacting with real females in your life right now, like girls from school. Step away from the computer and talk to them and eventually start asking girls out. This long-distance internet thing is you avoiding rejection by focusing on a ridiculous longshot.

[Lovethesun]

late twenties.

Seriously?! And you're not even 18 yet?
First, I fear she's got issues if she's trolling online for underage guys. She's either just looking to play you or is really insecure and needs someone to fawn over her.
Second, why not try to meet girls you actually have a real shot with? Local girls, your own age. People spend so much time online these days, it's like they forget how to interact with real live human beings.