Ups and Downs

[AnEnduringRemnant]

Heres my story about a girl
Okay,well how do i put this, I met this girl through studying chemistry together about 5 months ago. At first I didnt like her much and we were just study buddies. But as time went on I started to realize that I liked her and I liked hanging out with her, it brought out the best in me. I felt attraction coming from her direction too, but wasnt sure. She recently just got out of a 2 year relationship and isnt really over her ex in how she always mentions him. Also at the sametime she was dating this other guy, but she mentioned how much she didnt like him. So I wasnt sure, and I sorta held my feelings back and thought hey, nothings going to work out so let it go. But as time went on I still felt attraction in both ways and how we always messed around and I had to let her know. I asked her to go for a walk with me and we did. So we went and I told her that i had a little crush on her and didnt expect nothing back. To my surprise she told me that she kinda liked me too. I was in bliss for the next 5 minutes. Until I got back on the god forsaken AIM and she told me that she liked me and she didnt want anything cause shes still feelin the pain from her other relationship. I was sorta down but I said ok that sucks, but i'll just be a friend then.
So, from here I thought we were to be just friends, and I thought it sucked but I was like ok whatever life goes on. But as we continued to study together we both knew there was attraction between us still. And it seemed to grow for a while. We hanged out everyday and had lunch and dinner together all the time too. When we werent together physically we talked on aol. One day when we were studying I kissed her on the check and she was stressin out after that and said we should just be friends. And in all this time she was always telling me things she liked about me and it really felt like it was pointing in a relationship direction. But well, so I was hurt again and she said she wanted to be single for a while. Well now it was about the time when she went out with the other guy that she was dating, and I was hella stressed out, especially after since she said she didnt want noone. And she said she told him she didnt want to date anymore and so they stopped dating. So I told her too that I would stop pursuing her also.
We still studied together all the time and still felt attraction, but with all this up and downness, its hard to be as I used to be around her. during spring break she said a little too much to me. She told me that she felt like she was falling in love with me. You could imagine what my initial feelings after she said taht were. I was once again in bliss, but again in 5 minutes she said she didnt want anything. It really hurt me of course.So I wasnt srue what to do. So I just listend to music and tried to not talk to her anymore. I didnt talk to her for like 2 or 3 days, I felt the pain but I was healing. After that she instant messenged me and was telling me all kinds of nice stuff. I shouldnt have talked to her but I did. From here it was a continual pattern of up and down, She said things about liking me and how she missed the relationship but not her ex and other things that led the up and down pattern to continue. All this time that I knew her too, I would listen to everything on her mind and was her emo tampon, but she would hardly listen to me or show she cared. She also started to show that she didnt want to hang out with me as much anymore. The exclusitivity she gave me before sucked me in and made me feel bad since she didnt want it to be there anymroe. Like shes taking a piece of me.And so I was thinking ok, lets try to be freinds again.. So we hang out and I partied with her and her friends and it was cool. We only hung out when we studied after that too. we still talked on aim everyday. This whole time, my position was never clearly known.
So we hung out on her birthday as friends and it went good. After everyone left we were talking in the hallway drunk and ended up makin out for the first time. After that she said we shouldnt have did that and she felt bad. From here for about 3 months was a continual pattern of "lets be friends" one day, the next day im able to accept being friends, and then the next day we make out again. This pattern was repeated many many times. I tried to tell her that we should stop talking, but after I said that we had a really good makeout session and it was hard for me to let it go.
So after all this and the school year ended we continually talked on aol and she told me how she wished i was there for her to cuddle with,(she was at home, I was still in college). She was going to take summer school and it didnt start for like a week. When it started I ended up spending the night at her house and sleeping with her and cuddling. After a week, she said her friend thought it was bad and that we should stop. So was all bummed and thought ok I'll just be a friend again(again...). Then the next week ended up sleeping together everyday and we felt closer than ever. Its like after everytime we say to be just friends or whatever, were closer and closer. its wierd. Yet theres so much pain in it. And so now im stressing out on the whole situation. I dont know waht to do. She says that we arent officially together but it feels like we are. I dont know what to do anymore. And now her ex is moving into the apartment complex that she lives in and It stresses me out more than ever. expecially in how she always mentions how much she was in love with him and had so much fun with him. I know they will prob hang out again and Its so painful, like i dont know what to do. Ive asked her if she ever mentioned me to him and she said she hasnt. She also doesnt talk to him much only that one time when he told her that he was going to live in the same apartments as her. what should I do with this whole situation now. Recently she has said that were sorta together but thinks of a relationship as a marriage. And she flirts hella with that guy she used to date right in front of me. Im sorry that this message is really long. Well, any suggestions on what I should do? I mean, I talk to her about the whole situation all the time but its just painful at first and then we get really really closer after. What do I do?

[Calgacus]

This girl sounds like a nightmare. I used to tolerate girls like that, but I try not to now. She simply doesn't feel for you the way that she expects she should. And she doesn't respect you enough romantically to give a clear picture. She is playing around with you.

And now her ex is moving into the apartment complex that she lives in and It stresses me out more than ever. expecially in how she always mentions how much she was in love with him and had so much fun with him. I know they will prob hang out again and Its so painful, like i dont know what to do. Ive asked her if she ever mentioned me to him and she said she hasnt. She also doesnt talk to him much only that one time when he told her that he was going to live in the same apartments as her

I would say, be careful here! This guy obviously has a romantic hoodoo over her. In a few months or something, she'll tell you that they were always meant to be with each other and she never really got over him. At least, I'd be surprised if that didn't happen.

. Recently she has said that were sorta together but thinks of a relationship as a marriage.

Garbage. Did she not have a relationship with her ex-boyfriend? She's feeding you tripe because she wants you as a suitor, but doesn't feel strongly enough about you romantically That's what women always do in those circumstances.
She is effectively playing a waiting game, an evolutionary strategy women have in order not to close available mating options while still hanging out for better prospects. The best counter-action to this is to get another girl yourself, or appear to at least - i.e. - make her jealous! You're currently exposing yourself to this waiting game strategy by appearing too easy. Stop appearing too easy

. And she flirts hella with that guy she used to date right in front of me

That really bites , but there you go, that supports what I said.

Make her jealous, if she doesn't respond to that, your situation is hopeless.

Gook Luck though