Commitment Advice!

[0a0d6e3]

I have been dating a guy for 1 year and 9 months now. I love him more than words can describe and am fully committed to him. We have known each other for about 6 years and were friends prior to dating. We joke about starting dating because it “just happened.” I am 28 years old and have been divorced for over 5 years. I married my 1st husband when I was way too young and naive to know what LOVE was. My boyfriend has never been married; in fact he says he has never “been in love” despite having a few previous serious relationships. We have the same life values, morals, and beliefs. However, we have a different view about love and making a further commitment. I know that I am in love with him and tell him that I do. He, on the other hand, says he is not in love, but has strong feelings for me. He says he “wants to fall in love one time in his life” and until he knows for certain I (or any woman) am the one he wants to marry he will not say “I love you.” We do not live together. We do both have a key to the other person’s house. I have discussed with him wanting to further our relationship by moving in together and attempting to have more of a commitment. Every time we talk about it, he shuts the idea down and it turns into a fight. He wants me to be more patient with him and his unconventional view on love/relationships. I want him to start progressing forward more and showing me more of a commitment. I am curious how long I should wait until I throw my hands up and be done or give him an ultimatum (neither one of those options is something I want, but I am almost at my wits end due to frustration.) Please give me your thoughts, views, and opinions about my situation! THANKS!!!!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Tell him that after two years, if he doesn't love you, then he probably won't. He's right where he wants to be right now and you're not going to get what you want from him or this relationship. Break up with him, and tell him you want to find someone who loves you.

[IndiReloaded]

Shake hands, take your hat, and go....

[0a0d6e3]

Since I posted this a few days ago, there has been a few changes he has initiated. Like I said, I have made it very clear where I stand with our relationship and my desire for further commitment. He actually came up with the idea (without me bringing it up or saying anything about it) to start progressively begin the moving in together process...We even talked about marriage and our expectations regarding a wedding. I do feel like he is moving forward, it's just at a VERY SLOW speed. Also, we have had a few conversations about living together and how that would work.

I personally have always felt "if he doesn't love me by this point he never will, and I am wasting my time/efforts on our relationship." He is adamant in his belief of "falling in love 1 time in his life" and just need reassurance that I am that woman before he says I Love You. It's just very hard to sit around and wait for something that might never happen. In most relationships I have had or have seen, those feelings of love would have already developed.

[IndiReloaded]

Oh, he is leading you down the garden path. But its hard to face reality. You need to deal with what you know in your gut is true. Not what you *wish* were true.

Anyway, good luck.