Relationship Help

[lpenny1234]

My girlfriend and I have been together almost 21 months now. I love her to death, and vice versa, but I have to be honest: I am not attracted to her anymore like I once was. I should give some background on us. I am 28 years old and she is 21. She comes from a much more conservative background and is fairly religious while I am much more liberal and not very religious. I am not going to lie; I like to do things many guys like to do, i.e. going out with friends, drinking (not all the time), and even going to the strip club (on occasion). I have not gone to a strip club since we've been together (she hates them which I respect). We get along very well and like I said before, I care deeply for her. But that same excitement we had when we first met I feel like isn't there anymore. That's not to say we don't have good sex, b/c we do. But it's not on the same level as it was when we first met. Nowadays, I find myself yearning for a lady with bigger breasts and a pretty face. I feel as though I can do better and while I feel terrible for feeling "this way" (since that's what society tells us), I do believe that physical/sexual attraction is very important in any intimate relationship. True, there needs to be chemistry and similar beliefs/life goals, but in my opinion, sex is a huge part of an intimate relationship. She tends to be a bit more on the prude side, and doesn't even like it if I masturbate (which I believe is quite healthy for humans in general). Does anybody have any experiences similar to mine that would be willing to share any tips/ideas/suggestions? Life is short, and I feel a bit trapped and unsure of what I should do. She is a lovely girl and human being, and I don't want to hurt her. Any input is greatly appreciated. Thanks.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You're going to hurt her no matter what, so you may as well at least be honest. Just tell her that she's a little too conservative, or just tell her flatly that she's prude. It will sting but at least she will know why, and can choose to work on that if she wants to or find someone that is more similar to her in that regard.

[vashti]

Wait, is your issue that she is a prude sexually, or that she doesn't have big enough boobs and a pretty-enough face? (I am trying to determine your level of shallowness.)

Then again, I suppose it doesn't matter much. She deserves to be with someone who can fully appreciate her, and no - there is no way to break off with her that will make her feel okay about it, considering your rationale.. I do think you should probably be honest. It will piss her off and hurt her more initially, but she will probably be thankful in not much time. Her being labelled a "prude" will at least give her the opportunity to change if she wishes.

[Sunlight]

At your ages, I really agree with the first two replies ^^^

There isn't a way to break up with her and make everyone happy about it. You'll likely have doubts yourself for a few weeks/months at least. If you really want to do this in the 'kindest' manner you can, give her a sharp, quick break and be honest. Your goal now is not to make her love you and say "thanks", your goal is to give her the best chance she can have at maintaining her self-esteem and self-respect and moving forward with her love life in the shortest possible time frame.

That pretty much means she will blame 80+% of this on you. Take it like a man and do it. Be calm, be available to answer her questions directly (don't sugar-coat it, be firm), be honest, and then be gone.

Just a tip to show her a little respect though - in being honest you don't need to say you want someone with bigger boobs and a prettier face (since she can't change those things about herself).

You could say you want someone more aggressive than you are sexually that can teach you things (am I reading that right?) and wants you to be more aggressive. You could say you want to get drunk more with your friends but don't want to disrespect her by doing this while you're involved with her. You could say you want to take some wild weekends to the strip bars but you don't want to disrespect her by doing this while you're with her.

To give her the least hurt in this situation, you're going to have to illustrate your nasty-guy side and come off as somewhat repulsive to her so that after thinking it over she'll be glad that you left.