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Thread: a carry on from my boyfriends female best friend.....

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    a carry on from my boyfriends female best friend.....

    I posted recently regarding the woman best friend of my boyfriend (22 yrs older, toothbrush/calendar/slippers at his place)Well I sent him a message 2 days ago saying that i had some concerns about how things have been recently, and that i think he needs to have a think about what he wants etc. and he just replied saying "okay, fair enough" and i haven't heard anything from him since and he has been back on the online dating site.

    Now i feel really bad and think that i have blown it out of proportion and totally pissed him off! But at the same time i am hurt and upset that he hasn't even done the decency to tell me what he had thought about. I just don't get it, everything was going amazingly well until he told the female friend about me. But why would he be back on online dating site if there was anything going on with the friend.

    Now i am in a quandry as i don't want to look needy or overly upset, i need to get back my dads expensive tools and also feel i deserve some sort of face to face conversation about what went wrong. What do i say?

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    He's a douche... you didn't break up with him, you just told him he needs to think about what he wants... seems clear now, doesn't it? He wants to stop being with you. Ask him when you can go get your stuff and forget about him.

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    I dont think you have to keep open topics about that one situation.

    you ask our opinion(we are strangers) so we told you what we think of what you wrote.

    Maybe you did what we told you, while you was not convince that that is what you want to do about the situation.
    And you did it cause it sounded fair in your ears.

    Cause if you have that feeling of guilt is cause you don't stand 100 behind your action.

    So next time make the diction you want to make.
    and do some thinking yourself instead of keep asking us what to do so you can go do it and come back feeling guilty.

    And maybe he is just looking for someone that finds it all okay.
    If you are not, why keep forcing yourself?

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    Someone that cares about what you think or feel, would do more to see what your point is at least.

    but i dont know if he already enplane you what the situation is about between him and this old ass?!.

    if he already did and you told him you dont like, and he keep his point that its okay, you can leave or stay with your lips shut.

    And some stuff you just dont send text massages, you call or go in person.
    So you can see the reactions also.

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    I don't think you blew this out of proportion, and nothing that was said to you in your last thread is untrue just because he is willing to walk away. Just tell him your dad needs his stuff back, and go get it.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    You should have had this discussion in person rather than sending a cryptic text.

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    Quote Originally Posted by countingtoten View Post
    I posted recently regarding the woman best friend of my boyfriend (22 yrs older, toothbrush/calendar/slippers at his place)Well I sent him a message 2 days ago saying that i had some concerns about how things have been recently, and that i think he needs to have a think about what he wants etc. and he just replied saying "okay, fair enough" and i haven't heard anything from him since and he has been back on the online dating site.

    Now i feel really bad and think that i have blown it out of proportion and totally pissed him off! But at the same time i am hurt and upset that he hasn't even done the decency to tell me what he had thought about. I just don't get it, everything was going amazingly well until he told the female friend about me. But why would he be back on online dating site if there was anything going on with the friend.

    Now i am in a quandry as i don't want to look needy or overly upset, i need to get back my dads expensive tools and also feel i deserve some sort of face to face conversation about what went wrong. What do i say?
    don't second guess yourself. You did the right thing by asking him what he wanted and he's told you outright in his actions that he doesn't want you. Why would you want to ride this out while the whole time he is showing you glaring red flags that he's just killing time with you?

    You did the right thing. Now, once you're over the disappointment of having found yourself falling for an ass who is addicted to his old friend, then get yourself back on the dating site and find someone who is baggage free.

    If I've said it once, I've said it 1000 times on the forums. If you SO has a friend of the opposite sex that they put before you, then you are not all that significant to them.

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    Thanks wakeup. I think that was what i needed to hear. While i am still disappointed and hurt at how things turned out, i can do better. Although i think i shall be giving internet dating a miss. One disaster after another for me!! Xx

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    Quote Originally Posted by countingtoten View Post
    Thanks wakeup. I think that was what i needed to hear. While i am still disappointed and hurt at how things turned out, i can do better. Although i think i shall be giving internet dating a miss. One disaster after another for me!! Xx
    Sorry it worked out this way....but now you know and can move on. If the internet stuff isn't working for you try to meet someone in your daily life. I think it's so much easier to get a feel for someone in person/face to face (esp men b/c they express their true self through their actions not words).

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    Quote Originally Posted by countingtoten View Post
    Although i think i shall be giving internet dating a miss. One disaster after another for me!! Xx
    All I keep hearing about with regards to internet dating (from women's perspective) is that it sucks, except from my hairdresser, who is happy to date multiple men at one time, and doesn't care to really settle down with one.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    Quote Originally Posted by vashti View Post
    All I keep hearing about with regards to internet dating (from women's perspective) is that it sucks, except from my hairdresser, who is happy to date multiple men at one time, and doesn't care to really settle down with one.
    I hear the same things....I had a roommate once who tried it for a while and all the guys just really wanted sex...even if they said they wanted more initially.

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    All perception, I'm an internet dater and I've been with a girl I met online for over a year now. And I'm a pretty solid catch, if I do say so myself

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cerby View Post
    All perception, I'm an internet dater and I've been with a girl I met online for over a year now. And I'm a pretty solid catch, if I do say so myself
    That's cool Yeah it can work out sometimes...just like meeting people in daily life too. It's just hard overall...you have to sift through all the a-holes to find a good one no matter what method you use to meet people.

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