Does my guy friend want more?

[miist]

I'll try to simplify this as much as possible. If you read this all, you are AWESOME!

I have literally been his friend since diapers. I crushed huge on him throughout the earlier years of my life but he moved away for many years. We kept in contact but it was nothing more than a 'hey, how are you?' conversation. Just small talk. Three years ago, my ex-boyfriend and I broke up. Even though this guy friend lived in a different city, he and I began to talk regularly through facebook and text. He really helped me cope with the breakup and I began to develop these feelings again! But I never thought he'd ever move back home because he seemed content where he was living. (10 hours away.)

I, then, met my current boyfriend a few months later. Three months after beginning to date my current boyfriend, my guy friend moves back for school. I don't know WHY he came back here for school because he didn't know anyone except his grandparents and me. Anyway, he dropped out of school and I figured he'd head back home. But he didn't. And I was still dating my current boyfriend at this time.

I won't deny that I've always had feelings for my guy friend but I never truly thought he'd move back. So I committed myself to another guy, who has been great for the majority of our relationship. I pushed these feelings aside and thought there was no way someone like him could like someone like me. Not to mention he calls me his best friend, which I guess we are.

My current boyfriend and I broke up briefly 2 months ago because he was cybering with women online, and he moved out. We talked a few days later and decided to try again. Since then, my guy friend and I have been chatting and hanging out more. I feel like I'm getting MIXED SIGNALS from him. I hate to say it, but these feelings that were dormant are coming out like a hurricane! I can't deny the sexual attraction I have to him, or the way that he makes me laugh. We have great conversations and I never want the night to end when I spend time with him. But he upsets me too, sometimes. I feel like I care for my guy friend so much that when he does something that hurts me I can't just brush it off.

Okay, so, I mentioned mixed signals. Does my guy friend want more? Maybe someone can shed insight to this chaotic situation.
- My friend and I flirt on and off, for the past 2-3 months. It's pretty intense, and slightly awkward, flirting sometimes. I'll make reference to something sexual and he will literally 'joke' if we should try it. Which I just laugh it off.
- He is hot and cold, often. One night, he'll brush up against me while watching a movie or put his arm on the back of the couch behind me. We will flirt like crazy and the sexual tension is undeniable, I think. Then the next night he'll make sure to sit far away from me, leave the lights on, and will just make small talk.

I couldn't take all these mixed signals anymore so we were texting one night and I asked if he liked me. It was a long conversation (he isn't big on texting long conversations) but resulted in him saying (literally saying) 'No, I don't have feelings for you. I think of you as a Sister from another Mister'. After this, all flirting ceased and we hung out rarely. Almost two weeks went by without saying a single word to each other.

Then we hung out again and went to a party. There was drinking, of course. He, another female friend of mine, and I went back to his place for more drinks afterwards. Flirting between us began again. He insisted on a big hug when we got to his place and he snuck in a kiss on the cheek. We played a bunch of silly drinking games all night that resulted in him kissing me briefly. I also rubbed his feet and he said he really liked it. The three of us crashed in his bed and I tested the boundaries a bit by cuddling up to him. He seemed to respond well and we fell asleep. I woke up in the morning to him cuddling me and having his arm across my chest (literally feeling me up). I played coy and pretended to be half asleep (when I was really alert instead). We ended up holding each other in each other's arms with our faces literally inches apart. But nothing happened. I knew he wasn't asleep because he wasn't snoring and his breathing was super shallow and quick. Eventually the alarm went off and we all got up like nothing happened.

Now, I am confused. You don't kiss, cuddle, or flirt with someone you who think of as like a sister. I need some help!

[kipani]

I didn't read all this, but this is common knowledge in the other forum I'm in. Go to google and type in pointers for the ladies. Check the talk about marriage site.

[Wakeup]

... and yet another opposite friendship where sleeping in the same bed has caused nothing but mixed up feelings and confusion. Why to you young people insist on doing this kind of stuff?

Op: You broke up with your boyfriend for cybering and you, by all accounts have been emotionally cheating on him the whole time you have been together... Pot meet the kettle.

Break up with your boyfriend because what you have with him is called "killing time" because you think it's better to have any boyfriend then none at all. Work on that part of you so that you're happy alone and then you won't settle for someone whose not worth a thing to you.

Then, I suggest you invite your friend out somewhere and kiss him proper or outright tell him that you have more than platonic friendship feelings for him and quit being afraid to be rejected by him. I'm sure you don't want to go through any more time agonizing like you have been all these years. I suggest you don't have sex with him prior to defining what you are to one another or you'll simply be back her asking us if you're more than a friend with benefits and even more confused then you were after sleeping in the same bed with him.