so...any advice, help, point of views would be great :)

[bennehftw]

Hmm. I'm not typically a guy who is retarded at relationships. But I think I'm a good judge of character for the most part.

I'm "technically" married. My wife left me about a month ago with my 7 month old son. During that time, I hooked up with this one girl who was utterly loveable. So I slept with her 3 times. She is also married and her husband wasn't in the house and she tells me he beats her so. I don't exactly feel that bad about the guy. But they have kids. Lots of kids together. It ended because she told me I was a sex toy, and when I asked her out she said no. So I don't really play that, so I stopped.

I'm not the kind of guy who has one night stands. Not because I don't want to, I'm a fairly attractive guy, and most girls tend to have some sort of feeling for me, mostly because I'm a "very" friendly guy to almost to a point where it's hard to tell if I'm flirting or not. And I'm sorry but I'm just like that, I don't really know how else to be to a chick except really nice, honestly I'm not trying to be concieted, but I'm sure most girls that I personally know, if they were unhindered by a relationship or w/e they would probably willingly hook up with me. I love sex and that is not an issue, but it has to mean more then just sex.

Well this new girl came into the picture, and I became infatuated with her physically at first, like most males tend to do I guess. But after conversing with her, she really became a girl I could totally see myself with. The key thing here is. duh she has a boyfriend.

I'm in my early 20's, she is straight out of high school. So maybe I can understand that maybe she is just young and wasn't very exposed as a kid, she's never done any sort of drug/smoked/drink or w/e she's pretty straightlaced and honestly, I love that about her.

Well after hanging out once, we kissed. it's not really her fault because I was showing all the signs that I wanted her. And she seemed to be suprised that a guy like me who she said was cute/sexy and a really nice guy. (like I haven't heard that before). She was obviously fighting it though the whole time, but eventually she came to a point where she said, why do you make me do this, and kissed me.

Now we are at a point where, we kiss all the time, we hang out all the time, she is into me this I know, but she still has a hard time thinking about leaving her bf.

I know she is in love with him, he is her first love, and because of that I want to respect that so much, but it's hard. She doesn't seem to have any problems with him and she does care about him. The only bad things she's told me about him, are just typical young love fights to me, nothing major.

today. I want to tell her that it can't work out. Not because I know her and me can't be amazing. But because she has a thing that isn't bad according to my knowledge. Her parents hate him, but they told her they like me (yes I've met them already lol).

So I'm not really sure what I'm trying to ask here, or what I'm trying to do. Maybe I just want to talk to somebody who can reflect on this in another view that I can't. I'm very opinionated and I feel as if I can comment on anything about anything with my personal opinion. So obviously I'm going to feel like I'm right, I have a bad sense of how to empathize with other people's feelings because of this. Because I can only thing about what I would do in that situation. It's not that I can't empathize at all, it's just to me empathy is more like an illusion of what you think would be.

Now the first girl, who I slept with, she is pretty pissed off and supposedly did want to go steady with me, but It's already too late for that, but it does add an amount of stress to my palete.

Obviously, I know I'm probably still broken up about my wife leaving me, even though I resent her, and I definately resent her for taking my son. I also know that me and this girl probably won't work out, because if she really wanted to be with me, she would have. Or maybe she is into me, and she's scared. maybe the girl I slept with is gonna **** with me somehow.

Honestly, I can't imagine why though, I love her, this new girl. And maybe that is killing me inside because I'm not the type of guy who says that. I'm not the kind of guy who'll say it first. I'm not the type of guy. I used to be when I was a kid, I was quick to love, but I grew into an understanding that relationships that are quick to love usually have a horrible basis to start. Love without a relationship, isn't lasting love. It's more like infatuation. but I accidently told her, that I loved her. It just came out like it was so easy. We were just eating and I was telling her that I liked her a lot, and it came out like nothing. I love you. And I quickly fixed that by saying I mean I like you. Which was probably stupid on my part.

She is a down to earth girl, she honestly doesn't seem like the type who would **** me like that. But I understand she is also young, and sheltered. She tells me how funny it is how quickly she fell for me, how awesome of a guy I am. And I love it. I want to be with her, but I don't want to ruin a relationship that is perfectly ****ing fine.

I'm sure I'm missing some other details, but please guys/girls. If there is any sort of reflection or other point of view you can give me or advice, don't be afraid to ask/say anything.

hmm. Oh yeah it's thier 8 monthaversary, which they said on facebook all this lovey dovey stuff. And I almost forgot, thier in a recently new long distance relationship because she moved to where I'm at currently. Maybe she just misses the love?

Maybe I'm actually in love, and I'm just batshit crazy for this girl. But I'm not an idiot. But at the same time, I feel like my world is turning upside dow because I'm actually maybe an emotional wreck. I'm a strong person. A real strong person, I've seen death in my face since I was 13 from friends to my brothers, and I just don't get it.

Am I broken?

[someonewashere]

Hmm... I think we are in a similar situation, but heres what I "want" to do in my case but haven't yet mustered the courage to do so. Be straight up honest with your feelings and ask her to dump the guy and date you.

[bennehftw]

You know, I can easily do that don't get me wrong. But it just feels like a dick move. I mean she didn't mean to fall for me, she just came here for school. But I have mentioned it before, and she mentioned something about how she would probably cry. I mean that's a pretty easily distinguishable sign, and I would know, My wife was like that when I first met her, and she is an emotional wreck with tons of baggage. my ex before that wasn't as bad, but we did have a stressful relationship, mostly upon my part though. I just got out of the military and it wasn't really pretty. My wife though after the first date, I knew how much problems she had, but I mustered the strength to go for it anyways. And we were great. But after the pregnancy and the baby, she is a completely different person. And I'll be damned if I willingly enter another relationship just like that. I mean am I that stupid?

[bennehftw]

Well I have to go to work, but If anyone else would be willing to reply to this I'd be happy to comment back when I get back