I can't shake this feeling that he's cheating on me..

[october11]

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm going by the feelings I'm having based on his actions and I would really appreciate some input on whether or not I'm overreacting.

I've never really had any suspicions about his faithfulness until recently. We've been together for just under a year, I'm in my early twenties, he's in his late twenties. I've always believed him before when he said he'll never cheat on me because he knows how it feels due to being cheated on from his past relationships. But lately I don't believe a word he says about it and that bothers me.

Ok, here's what started this emotional mess. It first started out with him being on his phone from pretty much the time he comes home from work until he goes to sleep, which he never used to do before. I've layed beside him half dressed, making sexual advances and he does nothing back. This was hurtful at first because we used to be all over each other all the time. The thought did cross my mind on whether or not he was talking to another woman but I didn’t think too much of it. But once that phone comes out, I’m pretty much ignored for the rest of the night. This still happens, although he puts it down for a few minutes now and then.

Then his sex drive dropped, we don’t have sex as much or as long as we used to. This may or may not have been partly my fault, because I just started falling asleep whenever he was on his phone out of boredom and frustration. We still have a sex life but it seems that he doesn’t put the effort into pleasing me anymore. It almost always starts with me initiating everything. Due to him not putting the effort into my body, I’m not having orgasms like I used to, and I’ve told him this, but still nothing changes.

I thought these two issues were just run of the mill overly-paranoid-girlfriend stuff, but once our friend asked if the lipstick mark on the window was from another woman (it was from me), it made me think hey, maybe I’m not the only one that thinks he’s capable of cheating. This person does not know any of my suspicions. It seemed like more than just a coincidence to me that they asked that and I know this friend was asking in all seriousness.

Now, the rest of this is what starts making me feel that something's off.

This week he started a new job. One thing that just doesn’t make sense in my mind is why he’s leaving so early for work. Of course, I’ve asked about this, he says it’s because he needs to be there for 7:00 am. But when he first told me about the hours he said it started at 7:30. I can understand wanting to be early for work, but why does he need to be leaving at 6:30 in the morning to be at a job that doesn’t actually start until 7:30? He works literally 7 minutes down the road. So even if he does want to be a half hour early for work, that still leaves that half hour or so buffer in the morning.

The one thing that kind of put me over the edge was when he picked me up from my work Tuesday. He was acting ridiculously nervous. He wouldn’t look into my eyes for longer than 3 seconds, he was biting his nails and he kept talking, talking, talking. He told me about his day, like he usually does, but didn’t mention anything about why I’d be upset with him. The only other time I seen him act like this was the very first time that I got upset with him and even then it wasn’t as bad as it seemed on Tuesday.

Then last night, I was at an excercising class that ended at 6:00. It’s about a 20 minute drive to where I was from home. So I’m sitting there, it’s 6:07, the buildings about to be locked up so I called home to find out if he left. I was told he had left a half hour before. I waited until 6:20 until he finally showed. I was so upset that I didn’t notice if he was nervous but I do remember that he was pulling the whole not looking into my eyes longer than needed thing again.

He also had a mark on his face that looked like it was from being hit there but when I asked what happened, he didn't know and he didn't even notice it before. This mark was red and swollen, how does someone not notice something like that on their face? He always knows where the marks on his body come from.

On top of all of this, my hormones are not on my side at all because I’m 3 months pregnant with his child. So, with having to deal with my suspicions about him and trying to calm all of the pregnancy-induced emotions, I’m just an unbelievable mess on the inside. But I’m also curious as to whether or not my pregnant emotional state is messing with my brain or not. But I honestly have no idea.

We have talked the other night about cheating. I didn't come out and ask if he was seeing someone else, we were just on the topic becasue I brought it up. He goes by what he's said before, about why would he want to hurt someone that means so much to him. I hear him saying all of this but I just don't[I]feel[I] it.

Am I overreacting or do I have a cause for concern?

[bluesummer]

I'm curious why the topic of cheating came up....who introduced it, you or him?

Anyways, yeah he sounds like he's acting strange. Doesn't mean he's cheating, but it sounds like he's up to something. Not being able to look you straight in the face when he's talking to you is a sign that he may be hiding something. At the end of the day, you know his personality best, so if you say he's acting different than usual you're probably right.

As for the sex thing, I've heard some men say they feel weird about having sex with their partner when they're pregnant. Some men are into it. Who knows, that could be part of the problem.

I think it's best if you just tell him what you notice about his behaviour, and ask him to be honest about why he's being a weirdo. Don't beat around the bush.