i really need help..

[aznmagicguy]

there is this girl that i've been with for 2.5 years. we broke up, but it wasn't really a breakup because we kept seeing each other. we still had feelings for each other. i was about to get back with her, i was doing stuff to surprise her.

what i did:
i took about a week to make a banner with words saying how much i love her and asking her back, and random stickers about her beauty and cuteness, and pictures of us, and our "family" of stuffed animals. i took another week to make a pop up book that journeyed how we first met, how we became friends, lovers, breakup, and lovers again. i also planned to drive her to the beach and spend half the day together. i also planned a cake with 1 candle so she could make a wish and blow it out like a celebration. i also bought 2 tickets to disneyland, 1 day hop passes.

what happened:
i was planning to give this to her the next time she came back home, which was just in 2 weeks. those two weeks would have been the greatest mistake to wait on ever. the first week she met a guy on myspace, and started seeing him in person. the 2nd week, she declared herself his gf and him her bf. how could it be that she would throw away all the love we shared, for just 1 week of knowing this guy? she confuses me as well. she said she still wanted to be not just friends but best friends. but she played with my heart. iono. she told me she doesnt wanna face me, and she doesnt wanna accept my gifts. she basically didn't wanna talk... yet she called me and texted me still, and i'm confused. does she care about me still? or is she just caring as a friend? i dont know what to believe.

it's been 5 days since she told me. the day she told me, she was already with him for almost a week. so i never knew. she was still seeing me while being his gf. for these 5 days, i never got a good night sleep (waking up every hour in pain, heartache, emptiness). i havent eaten (as hard as that may sound, i only drank water for the past 5 days. i tried eating today, but my body couldnt take it in anymore). i don't know what to do. i still have a shred of hope that she still cares about me, and she still loves me deep down. i want to wait for her. i love her with all my heart, and i will never move on...iono. maybe it's because i'm in such heartache that i'm thinking this.

i'm sorry, i just really need help... i've gone crazy. i'm destroying everything in my house. i just don't know what to do anymore. she was my one true love. we got so far in the relationship that i never even imagined of this happening. it's surreal, unreal.

what do you guys think? this really hurts me...



the previous was written yesterday, and i have more to add today:


i have a xanga [i wont say what it is] and she was the one that got me into it... so yeah. after all this happened, i was compelled to write my first private entry in my xanga. i just let out my emotions, everything, about how much i love her... and everything i've done. thing is, she went into my xanga, and she read it. she knows what i've done. and iono what she's feeling... i was happy when she called me and txted me yesterday, but apparently her bf got mad and she isn't doing it today... iono. i'm confused about her feelings. i keep having this small hope that what we've been through would still be there deep down in her heart.

i just really can't move on. i've tried... but everything i've done, even when i've tried, still reminds me of her. everywhere i go is a place that we had once shared special memories at. everything i have of hers i still use, such as cards (i'm a magician), t-shirts, dvds, and i treasure everything else she gave me, such as stuff animals, little plastic rubber figurines, little angel figurines, everything.

it hurts me so much... how can she just get with this new guy in such a short time and possible throw away everything that we had with each other? is it a spur of the moment? she met the guy on myspace.. ahh..

it used to be every day that i wake up and look forward to talking to her and seeing her, but now i wake up in a nightmare, knowing that i cant talk to her the same way if at all... i lost the feeling that got me through the day, and i don't know what to do.

i refuse to believe she feel for me at all anymore... not after all we've been through.

[Illusional]

first off.. to be honest, people really hate to read long posts. hahaha

secondly, you already know what i think about this girl.

raverboy

[Stillinlove]

This sucks man, why would she go out with someone else so soon. Trying to hide her own pain from your breakup? Or were you happier in the relationship than she was? I know what your going through man, and i know that if your going through what i think you are, if you dont profess your feelings and thoughts to her now, youll be reciting them to the darkness every night for the rest of your life. All you can do is tell her man. Dont hold it in. Do anything you can to get her back. Dont hold it in...

[RichardE]

First of all...breathe in and out.

Before I start, I don't want to sound like I'm the best person to take advice from. All I know is that there are a few things that I'm doing that may come in handy for you.I know you're going through a tough time right now, but I have to tell you a few things, because i didn't agree with one of the replies you recieved. (The one telling you to tell her everything).

1. Professing your love and need for her will only scare her away. She will not appreciate you for it, because society has made human beings love what they don't have, not what they can't get rid of.
2. Remove all the xanga stuff and anything else that reveals your feelings for her.
3. Breathe...
4. Do not reply to her texts, calls or any way she'll contact u
5. Put all the things that remind you of her in a box (just for now)
6. Start eating small meals, and drinking...also start an exercise regime
7. Go out with friends, and don't talk about it...listen to them and their lives
8. All that money that you were going to spend on her, spend on yourself i.e. buy new clothes and shoes, get a haircut if u want, join the gym etc etc
9. Start checking out other girls (and remember you can fall in love with ne one of these girls u feel attracted to, because any of the feelings you have, are your feelings and yours only. Thats why u can make ur self fall in love and out of it)
10. If ur finding it hard to get back in the dating game, i would recommend a guy called david deangelo (really knows what he's talking about).

All this and anything else u think is necessary will get ur power back. You need to redeem your self-esteem and strength. Remember, if you have any chance of getting a girl to like you, you must be the one she needs, not the other way round.

Talk to u soon bro...