Is it really all just a game?

[bob the brave]

I am a non-player, real, simple kind of guy. This leads me avoid game playing beyond flirting and not compete against other guys for a girl's affection. I figure I will simply be myself and she can decide for herself. I shouldn't have to sell myself and that kind of competition usually leads to rediculous postering, inflated egos and false prvado which only serves to further distort the situation. I like to be friends first, becuase, to me, that makes sex more fun and meaningful.

The problem is I have been runover by players more times than I care to remember. They swoop in, take my girl, have their way and dump them. This can takes weeks to months, but they usually return to me, sad as hell, complaining the player is a jerk and wanting to get together. Sad thing is at this point I have to decline, even if I still care because thay already made their choice.

Almost every girl I know are attracted to these guys, fawn over them and then stagger around completely heartbroken and confused when they drop them and run to the next pair of legs. As a guy, I can recognize these guys right off and it breaks my heart to watch them 'play' these girls with swauve ways and smooth words which are hollow and rehearsed. Some of these girls have dumped me for them knowing they are still in a relationship (cheat on the other girl) and then get really upset when it happens to them.

I have been told women actually know this and like these kind of guys and this kind of treatment. Is this true or is my lame game what women really want?

[red-rasberry]

Your right to decline these girls after they have messed you about so first of all, good for you!
I know these kinds of guys straight but then again i am a typical 'one of the guys' kinda girl so that may be down to being around guys alot more than most girls.
Some girls seem to show more interest in guys like this because they are 'dangerous' or something new. Its a thrill and they get caught up in the game that these guys know how to play very well.
Keep looking for a decent girl, one who wont run off with the next player that shows up.
Not all girls are the same i promise, have faith in us. We arent all silly enough to throw away a good lad in exchange for a rotten one.

[boom43]

"Sad thing is at this point I have to decline, even if I still care because thay already made their choice."

Is it because you're disappointed in their choice, or is it because it bothers you that you weren't their first choice?

People make mistakes - being able to look past those mistakes is essential to being able to relate with people, whether romantically or in a platonic way.

I'm a woman and I've never understood why other women fall for jerks - I, too, can generally spot them from the get-go (though I have been fooled a few times..)
A lot of the problem comes down to low self esteem - women feel like shit about themselves so they let themselves get treated like shit.

Keep being you - you might not get as much attention as the dbags, but when you do get a woman's attention it'll be a woman who is confident enough in herself to give a guy like you the time of day.

I have a similar problem as you - I've been crazy about my best friend forever, but he consistently dates girls who treat him like crap. It frustrates the hell out of me. But if he were ever to get his shit together and realize he deserves better and wanted to be with me, I'd be with him in a heartbeat.

[Boisdevie]

You have to be yourself.