i really need ur help desperately

[sadshawn]

hi nice to meet you all,im shawn.I met this girl during my foundation years in my uni,she is considerably nice and studios person..we don't actually talk to each other after a few occasions..maybe a few weeks later,she initiated the conversation by introducing herself.And that's all...We never really started a conversation though...and guess what,we were in the same tutorial and lecture group,which meant i can see her almost everyday..but,i dont really seems have to balls to talk to her ,until one day,she broke the walls by asking me whether i have this particular book to borrow her for the exams which is around the corner,i just nodded and borrowed her without hesitation.but a week later,she was sick and didnt come to skul,due to chicken pox infection..ya,i kinda miss her.seriously,and a few days later,she smsed me saying that when do i want back my book,i said as soon as u finish the book,then it would be ok to have it back..and we managed to keep the flow of the conversation by talking a bit of the crap(or i shoudl say family matters?)i asked her how was she doing?and how she managed to stay secluded inside her room for like about 2 weeks time..i just hope that i can chat with her more,but im out of words...and that ended our conversation.Things went the same way after she came back,the very moment i stepped into the room,she stared at me,and jsut gazed at me...i was kinda of freak out actually..when i went to the library,i noticed the same stare and looks she gave me everytime i went into a room where she was.

Another time was when we and our frens are all studying for a test,i just went off for awhile..walk around talking with other frens..for quite long(around 10mins),and when i came back,i saw her standing outside the library door and i just coincidentally met her,she seems to be nudging abit and asked me where i went?so ,i just replied her..and she asked me again,you are going for the test later rite even she did noe that i will be having a test later,which really wreck my nerves why she would ask such silly question..then one time,when we were in a room with a few frens of coz..we talked together and tried to keep the conversation flowing,and she ended up asking me"do u have a girlfren?" well, i dont have a girlfren,so i just replied her a no..but i couldn't see her smiling,which i probably thinking that she was just asking for fun..and i spoiled the talk again by asking her why did u ask such question?"she didn't reply me back..maybe just dont know how to answer me back..huh?
one day,i was sitting here with my fren( a guy),and when we were in the middle of the conversation,she asked me whether i wanted to join her to go for the lecture class which was going to start soon.so again,i spoiled the game by declining her offer..saying that i 'll be there in a minute,u go first.." (i was so ****ing idiot that i would be silly enough to decline her offer knowing that this will be one of the a factor she rejected me!!)Then,one time,when we(me,her,and some frens) were studying for a test,i jsut went off to study somewhere else,coz i just coudlnt bare looking her talking to the other guy...so,after awhile,she came to me,and said what are you doing here,why dont you join us upstair,the more the merrier.."but again my stupidity drived me crazy again by tellign t=her that i dont like to study with so many ppl,i prefer alone...so this shunned her off.one day,im just having a chess game with my fren,and she happened to came to me and wathced me paly,and i was sitting on two chairs,so she asked bubbly telling me to go the other side,so that she can sit the other chair..but again,after doing that, i just dont talk to her,which resulted her to went off immediately...Another occasion was when i was asking a teacher about soem qeustion,she just cheekily said that "this seems easy,no nid to ask on this,ask on harder thing"...,so i was like angrily mad at her(in a funny and hilarious way of coz),saying that ya,you are so clever,and i noe it...."and after a while,she talked to me,sorry,i didnt meant to hurt you ar,,you wont mind rite??" "of coz i said i wont mind to her....

a few days before our final exam,(graduation upon foundation),i finally made up my mind tat i want to confess to her abt my feelings...so,i smsed her whether i can ask her out for talk..a talk in the campus i mean..so,she didnt reply me...and then the very nect day, i saw her looking at me with that kind of innocence face..and then jsut went off..Days went off,and one of her fren jsut came and approached me,asking me that am i asking her out for a talk?so, i nodded..but i wondered how she would noe it...since i just smsed to her,without telling her face by face,so my wild guess was the girl that i like told her everything...and i tried that by asking her,why did you noe i want to ask her out? she just replied me saying that she accidentally saw her msg..which was such a stupid lie...then a day before final exam,i finally mustered up my courage to confess to her..ya,not face to face but sms and email,since she dint want to meet me face to face....so,i put my best effort into it,not knowing that this would result in epic failure!!so,she dint reply me at all until the very next day,she replied,im not ready for any relationships,and i want to focus on my studies..and there is plenty more hot girls out there...,so are we still frens?? This kinda awkward relationship just ended like that... and i was deeply struck by this bad news.. i went delirious...and months passed,she was in the first sem degree,and im still studying foundation(due to one of my subject being barred and i nid to retake that subejct again,if not i would be the same as her),so she fb msg me:"how are you?u still studying in PJ(which is the place i study).,so i was so happy to heard that.but in the same time ,i was greatly mad over her rejection,and i just ignored her msg for like a weeks...so,she just sending me another msg,asking me the same qeustion..and yet im still stubborn as hell,and didnt want to reply hers..and until the next week,i replied,yes,im fine....

And my post just ended here for now,coz there will be alot more to say,plz kindly post ur comments here,i really nid your help in winning her heart,i just coudlnt think of any gud ideas on hos to capture her heart anymore...im greatly desperate,so plz help me out here..

[smackie9]

First mistake was expressing your feelings to her. Rule #1, you only express your feelings when you are in a real relationship with them. As they say you were putting the cart before the horse. As soon as you do that you look like a weakling, that's going to get all mushy. Girls like a guy that is confident in himself and isn't afraid to say "I think you are pretty hot" "You want to go out sometime?" not msging by text "I have fallen for you" or "I have strong feelings for you" they run away as fast as they can.

Next, you waited to long to ask her out. You like a girl you do a quick few chats then officially ask her out on a date.

You really need to develop confidence or this will happen over and over again. Your nervousness is a big turn off. If you think that they can't tell what you are feeling, that's a load of BS.....they can see it written all over your face, and see it in your body language. Girls easily see these clues, and assess you very quickly.


You blew it. With your actions, your turn downs, nervousness, avoidance of any social interaction, jealousy, lack of confidence, and waiting too long to ask her out, has ruined any chance you had, She ha already made up her mind that you are not suitable.

Tip: to say out of the friends zone, you must ask then out soon after meeting them. Second, if they give you excuses like "I just got out of a bad relationship" or "you would make some girl (not her) happy", "I have exams", "I dated a jerk" "I'm not ready for a relationship". This all means that they are not interested in dating you.


If you want to have any kind of shot at her, DO NOT BE FRIENDS with her....if you do, it will throw you deeper into the abyss of the friends zone. Once you are deeply planted there, there is no way out.