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Thread: Is it possible for her to "love" me, not in a "romantic" way?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
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    Is it possible for her to "love" me, not in a "romantic" way?

    As always, there's this girl. I really like her, and we've become very close over the past couple of months. There's a long history, but I'll cut it short and you can ask questions on specifics if you need to. I've been getting mixed messages. The thing is, I saved her from killing herself by being there when everyone else wasn't and I didn't know it was that serious until recently. She's says that she "loves" me all of the time, and I wasn't sure what to make of it - thinking it was just her being a teenage girl. But then the other day we were talking and she told me about how earlier this year she was literally about to kill herself and had her suicide note ready before I rang her to ask her if she was alright and we spoke and I made her feel needed and she's got better since.

    She said that "that was among many reasons why she loves me". So now I'm pretty sure that she actually does "love" me - which is good because I also love her. Except, we're not in a relationship. I asked her out on an "official date" a little while back but she was reluctant because she's "scared of hurting me" because "she's bad at relationships" which I didn't understand at the time, but now I can reason that if someone saved my life, I wouldn't want to risk losing them by stuffing up a relationship. She has said multiple times that "she never wants to lose me". And recently she's started getting a bit distant, and I'm not sure if its on purpose. We haven't seen in person for a few weeks now, only talking on webcam and even that has stopped in the last few days.

    I'm not sure what to do, nor what to make of any of this. Is it possible for her to love me, but not in a romantic way? Should I just keep my distance, or pursue her further? I'm just as afraid of getting hurt myself.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
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    How old are you two?
    I guess that you two are teenagers. Maybe she doesn't love you. She just need a person to pay attention at her and get her out of the bad mood. Sometimes it is the gratitute, sometimes it is selfish. You should find out your and her purposes in this relationship. And don't let you into the kind of relationship that goes nowhere.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
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    Yes, of course it's possible. Do you not love your parents, siblings, etc? Hell, I love my cats.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    OP, welcome to the Friendzone.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    3,849
    She said she never wants to lose you, so, tell her that if she doesn't want to date she will lose you. Tell her not to contact you anymore unless she wants to try dating you. If she threatens to kill herself, tell her to go ahead.

    She's using you. Call her on it and walk away. If she actually "loves" you, she will get over her fear and give it a try, otherwise she's just stringing your pathetic ass along.

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