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Thread: GUYS, PLEASE HELP!! What am I to him?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
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    GUYS, PLEASE HELP!! What am I to him?

    Okay, I am an attractive 21 year old asian college student who is currently dating a 28 year white old guy who has a stable job. I met him at a club.
    My problem here is that i don't know what I am to this guy that I'm seeing.
    Let me give you a little insight as to what the issue is:
    So I've been seeing this 28 year old guy for about 3 months already. We're sexually active(BEST SEX EVER) and we definitely have INSANE chemistry/connection with one another(sexually and emotionally). Within these 3 months, we've only gone on ONE date--which is our first lunch date after meeting each other at the club. Since then, we kept in contact with one another and I would hang out at his place with my friends. Eventually, I would come alone & that's when we became more intimate. After that, I began developing more feelings for him and wanted to hang out with him more so during our first month, in one week, I asked him to have lunch/dinner with me at least for a total of 3 times. Within those 3 times, he canceled on me completely last minute (10 minutes before our date). I was really upset at him & he apologized explaining to me that he was afraid to be close to me & that he has kept his guard up because I told him "I wasn't looking for anything serious." However, that was before I had feelings for him. So now, I definitely want to see where this would go. After we talked about how we felt, we made up and told one another that we have feelings for each other. He then told me "I would definitely like to go on more dates with you." That made me feel a lot better but its literally been 3 months already and we haven't gone on another date. He asked me to have dinner with him 2 times(which got me really excited), however, it never happened. I asked him "What time would you like to have dinner tomorrow?" but he wasn't sure so I said "Okay, let me know asap." He never brought dinner up, thus, we never went to dinner. During the second time he mentioned having dinner together, I didn't even bother asking him about the day or time because I knew that there was a chance of it not even happening. Anyway, although we don't go on dates, I see him 2-3 times a week. I come over to his place, chill with his roommates--he's very caring and affectionate of me in front of his roommates--have dinner at his house, and we usually watch a movie then have sex to end the night. I sleep over, we wake up, I go to school and he goes to work. That's basically the routine. He always talks about how we have such great "chemistry/connection" and that he's "never liked someone this fast before." He also repeatedly tells me that "he likes me a lot." Whatever he says, I COMPLETELY feel the same way. I could feel his emotions based on our shared chemistry... I think we have mutual feelings for one another, however, because we NEVER go on dates/go out, it makes me wonder.....
    Is this guy being honest with me? Does he really actually like me? What am I to him? Is he fooling me...? Is he just using me for sex....? and... WHY DON'T WE EVER GO OUT?!?!?! I'm not trying to be needy, but I'm a girl, and I like to be taken out. I don't care about who pays for the bill, as long as we spend quality time with one another outside, I'm happy. At first, I thought that maybe he's one of those "older" guys who likes to stay home most of the time so I accepted that we never went out. However, he tells me that he goes to the bars, watches movie, and hangs out with his guys quite often. Then... I started thinking, "why don't we ever do that?" If he likes me, wouldn't he want to do some of those things with me? I don't get it..... I'm so confused as to how he really feels, what I am to him, and if this is going to go anywhere. I really like him and although I often tell myself that I'm gonna stop seeing him, I can't. I really like him.
    So... please give me some advice/opinions... Much appreciated. Thank you!!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
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    Male
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    Philippines
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    5
    hmmm... to be honest and in my personal opinion since I am a guy and I exactly do the same way to the girl i know (but Im change).. no hurt feelings but it looks he just taken you for granted, knowing that you have already do sex, Maybe he had a girlfriend...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
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    Is he going out without you? Maybe he just doesn't like to go out.
    ...as ancient astronaut theorists would suggest

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
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    Location
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    Ask him and then you will know what he is thinking about you and your relationship.

    I think there could be two options:

    a) He's busy and he doesn't like go out, so he's ok with your routine.

    b) He's using you to have sex, and he don't want you to be his girfriend, so he's trying to establish certain rules on your meetings.

    But, if you never ask him, you'll never know.

    Good luck!
    "Hope is based on what we unknow, what is everything. Hopelessness is based on what we know, what is anything."

    Please, I hope you excuse my mistakes. Don't forget I'm only an intermediate student of your language. But, in order to improve, I'm trainning hard!

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