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Thread: Dumped!!!

  1. 21-04-05, 04:36 AM #1
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    Dumped!!!

    Hello everyone, my first post here, so please bear with me

    My girlfriend and I recently broke up, she ended it. Im having a hard time dealing with things right now, its only been 3 days. Her reasons were that I am too jealous and not trusting (which i am deep down, i just dont show it well). I agreed with her 100%, as i knew the things i was doing were upsetting her, i just never really thought about it untill it was too late, hence me posting here. I really dont know what to do at this point, she wants to be friends, and she did say if i can get my issues straightened out that we still might have a chance again. I am going to counceling about my trust issues, as i think that would help me more than anything at this point in time, but its hard as she lives downstairs from me, im not sure if i want to go the NC route or continuing to talk to her, either one is going to be a ***** for me. I havnt eaten in 2 days and cant sleep well either. We have talked a few times since then, but every time i talk to her i get more upset, mostly at myself for letting something so special to me go.

    please help, any advice would be appriciated

    Kevin.
  2. 21-04-05, 07:41 AM #2
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    Kevin,

    It sounds cruel but she did the right thing. To be jealous and not trusting is caused by insecurity within oneself. Not trusting her makes her feel like you are not giving her a chance to love you. I dated a girl that had a hard time trusting me, it caused me a lot of grief, it felt like I was on trial 24/7.

    Going to counciling is not a bad idea, keep that up. Ever heard the phrase "You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else"? Do ya understand why that is true?

    Trusting a person is part of loving them, but before you can trust them you have to have love for yourself and be convinced they could never hurt you. Logically speaking that is always a possibility, so we have to learn to ignore ANY negative thoughts.

    Why? Because they are MEARLY thoughts, we choose what we believe and what we don't believe. If there is anything you are not gonna trust, make it negative thoughts.

    Jealousy will dissappear when you learn to trust the other. Hope things go well for you!
    Impossible is a word only to be found in the dictionary of fools.

    Napoleon I
  3. 21-04-05, 08:03 AM #3
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    Wow thanks for the response, i really think going to seek help is going to help me alot.
  4. 21-04-05, 08:21 AM #4
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    If you have no trust then there is a problem BUT there is absolutly nothing wrong with a little bit of jealousy. It natural.

    Quote Originally Posted by LightOn
    "You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else"

    I am sorry but that is a wrong statement.
    Last edited by Only-virgins; 21-04-05 at 08:23 AM.
    "Why are you an atheist?"
    "because I paid attention in science class."
  5. 21-04-05, 08:24 AM #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by kevint
    Wow thanks for the response, i really think going to seek help is going to help me alot.
    No problem. Keep us up to date how things go, ok? Unfortunately it won't be an overnight process.
    Impossible is a word only to be found in the dictionary of fools.

    Napoleon I
  6. 21-04-05, 08:45 AM #6
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    yeah im realising that, but if it was meant to be then it will happen.
  7. 21-04-05, 09:01 AM #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Only-virgins
    If you have no trust then there is a problem BUT there is absolutly nothing wrong with a little bit of jealousy. It natural.
    Jealousy is somewhat "natural" but can be controlled!


    Quote Originally Posted by Only-virgins

    I am sorry but that is a wrong statement.
    You're right about being sorry, but wrong about it being a wrong statement.
    Ask anyone in a long term SUCCESSFUL relationship.
    Impossible is a word only to be found in the dictionary of fools.

    Napoleon I
  8. 21-04-05, 09:49 AM #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by LightOn
    Jealousy is somewhat "natural" but can be controlled!
    You know what they say. If its natural then its there for a reason. Why would I want to control it? I dont want any other fagmar on my G/F.

    Quote Originally Posted by LightOn
    You're right about being sorry, but wrong about it being a wrong statement.
    Ask anyone in a long term SUCCESSFUL relationship.
    I love a girl and I hate my-self....?....
    "Why are you an atheist?"
    "because I paid attention in science class."
  9. 21-04-05, 10:17 AM #9
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    Kevin,

    Please don't mind Only-virgins comments, he's one of the devils advocates. I'm only debating with him so he doesn't influence your beliefs.

    Quote Originally Posted by Only-virgins
    Why would I want to control it?
    Because it's one of those negative things we must ignore to become happy. So I ask HOW is a person to be happy if they don't control it? You don't know happyness so you can't provide an accurate answer.


    Quote Originally Posted by Only-virgins
    I love a girl and I hate my-self....?....
    Correction...You're obsessed about a girl and you hate yourself.

    If you loved her, the rumor/fact she is a nympho would not be discouraging you

    Simply put OV, you just don't know love.
    Impossible is a word only to be found in the dictionary of fools.

    Napoleon I

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