Holding hands

[Confused Man]

Ladies...

So I need your help in settling a debate between me and a single friend of mine. He has a female friend who I am convinced is into him, but he denies it. He likes her a lot, and will hold her hand whenever possible. Never in public, but when they are in a car alone, for example, he will reach over and take her hand, and she always accepts. And not just a loose hand either, they will interlock fingers. She never initiates though apparently, which is why he thinks that they are just friends, as he thinks that she would initiate sometimes if she was interested. In my mind, that she is accepting of it and will hold his hand for the duration of their trip, even an hour or more, is a clear sign that she is interested.

As additional background, this woman emails and texts him constantly, sharing every aspect of her day (which I have heard is a clear sign too, as women will only talk about every detail in their lives with a guy they look at as a partner). She also seems to create reasons to see him, and never turns down an opportunity to drop everything to see him. For example, he had a short business trip that she knew about, and then work asked her to go away the same days (different cities). She picked flights that were close in time to his, even though she didn't need to be there that early on the first day, and she willingly accepted his offer to go to the airport together, even though she could likely have had family get her there, or a car service. I am convinced she deliberately picked similar flights, but she played it down and asked what times his flights were, even sounding sad when they were a couple hours apart on both ends. He asked to take her, she declined since she didn't want him to wait, but when he insisted, she immediately changed her mind and accepted.

This woman apparently only lets him peck her on the mouth, but does let him linger for a few seconds. He told me they cuddle a lot too. Nothing beyond that though.

I want him to tell her how he feels and go for it, as I think she is just shy and doesn't want to put something out there and be possibly rejected. He has had bad luck with women, and I know he is gun shy too. He agreed to let me post this and if the feelings of the board are pretty unanimous, he said he will go for it.

Thoughts ladies? My main question is around holding hands, but the subquestion is about what he should do. Thanks.

[HeartIsAching]

Your friend's an idiot.

Of course she likes him. The big question here is, why won't he hold her hand in public? That's probably what she's asking herself, and probably why she won't initiate or let him kiss her.

[Maple1714]

I personally do not touch any man in any way at all if I do not like hi
. She likes him...he needs to grab her and make out with her...naked

[MsAdele]

Yeah I reckon she likes him but why is she hanging around with him if he hasnt initiated anything more than a cuddle and holding hands? I know as you say he is shy but still what is he a monk? Tell him to get his ass in gear and make a "proper" move and not just a peck on the mouth - another question why does she not let him linger when he goes in for a kiss? Tell him go for it he has nothing to lose.

[Confused Man]

He told me he has, which is why he was confused as to if she was just friendly and didn't like him as something more. She is the one that is only letting him give her a peck and cuddle. If it was up to him, he'd be doing a lot more. That's why he was confused as to the meaning of holding hands ( as was I) because he thought there was something more there if they were holding hands, since that seems to be an intimate thing. I agreed with him.

As for why he only holds hands in private, again, that is her choice. She is either very shy or just sees him as a friend. I still think there is something there, as to me, hand holding is very intimate, but I admittedly don't know what to tell him.

[Maple1714]

Holding hands is intimate...its a sign of affection. Why are you writing this for your friend? I am thinking this is really about you??

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Your friend is a pussy.

[MsAdele]

Maybe she is a needy girl that likes the fuzzy feeling of getting intimate in private by holding hands etc but at the same time doesnt want anything from "your friend" long term! If she was up for it she would have realised by now unless she is a little slow on the uptake which I doubt she is, part of me thinks she is stringing him along. If she is just considering him as a friend then maybe he should be looking for other girls and stop obsessing about whether or not she is in to him.