I'll try to briefly summarize the story:

Met my girlfriend about a year ago. She was just out of a marriage (separated on way to divorce--yeah, I know). We were friends who shared a kiss 30 years ago in high school. This time, we hit it off bigtime. Love of my life stuff, multiple calls every day. The whole shebang.

Big issue: We live on other sides of the country. I've flown out to see her about 20 times over the past year. That's not the problem.

Again, lovey-dovey, super close emotionally, super close in all ways...But she has, as it turns out (by her own admission) issues with intimacy. She is great with it until it becomes too much, then she lashes out. Then that passes and all is good again.

Anyway, I was out to visit her about three weeks ago. Everything was great. Not just my feeling, she agrees. A week later, I had a trip to Europe. A few days before I left, she started to go "dark", again over the intimacy stuff, or, as she realized with the help of her therapist, with abandonment issues related to when I left to return home from LA. We worked through those (along with therapist) and came out the other side with her telling me she felt "freer" than she ever had as an adult, and that I got her there, and that she was so lucky with me in her life, that she had never ever been as close to anyone blah blah blah. (Not to demean the points, but you get the picture). Then some stresses back home started to intervene and they started dragging her to a dark place again (among stresses: Health scare for mom and having to deal with legal issues related to her divorce and her soon-to-be ex being a pr*ck). On Tuesday, she was still telling me how much she loved me. We only talked briefly on Wednesday (OK), missed each other on Thursday (international calling issues) and when I talked to her on Friday she was inconsolably agitated and incapable of having a calm conversation. I got back to the States on Saturday, and she wouldn't return my calls. On Sunday she finally emailed me (no call) saying "everything is too much and I can't talk to you or read your emails for now." At this point, I (embarrassingly) went crazy and tried calling/emailing/texting her multiple (maybe 30-40) times, trying to get her to respond and talk. When she eventually did decide to communicate again (two days later) she was pissed about that and asked why I would possibly have done that. I explained that on Tuesday she called me the love of her life. On Friday she couldn't even have a non-shouting conversation with me (and nothing had happened between us) and that Sunday she effectively told me she wasn't going to communicate anymore by email...I explained that I felt the rug had suddenly be pulled out from under me, and that although I was embarrassed I'd gone off the deep end with attempts to get her attention (I should note that I never said anything bad/negative...it was all "what's going on here...why...?" stuff) hopefully she could understand WHY I'd gone weird. She couldn't. She had no empathy at all for my position.

When we finally talked on Tuesday, she was extremely cold and hostile. We talked again on Saturday, and she was better. At my insistence we went through a list of questions to focus on what we like/love about each other. Her list included all kinds of "you are the only person who ever..." and "you are the only person who gets me..." and "you are the closest person to me ever..." type stuff. Mine too. She agreed she'd never met anyone like me, and almost certainly never would. Then she said she just couldn't take it any more, phrases like "everything is too much" and "I just need to be alone with my thoughts for an extended period" along with the suggestion we are though. When I tried to reason with her, she started to get extremely hostile and uncommunicative again.

It's worth noting that she shared with me a document she'd written for her therapist a couple of weeks ago. In it, she said I was "perfect" for her and "everything she had ever hoped to find". She said she craved intimacy, but that when someone was actually emotionally intimate with her for an extended time she would get scared, consider herself unworthy, consider herself stressed to return the intimacy, get scared, and lash out in a cold, unbridled way. Which she has. She talks about how her soon-to-be ex was comfortable because he was never very close emotionally and that that was "easy" for her, at least until she realized she was living with a stranger.

In other words, she has problems with a close relationship, but she also knows I'm the best thing that ever happened to her.

I am crushed right now. I don't know if I should try to continue, or just move on.

I talked to my therapist, and I showed her the document my girlfriend wrote. The therapist's comment: "This is extremely sad. She is getting upset at you for precisely the kinds of things she craves. She is never going to be able to maintain a close relationship with the kind of person she knows she desires." My therapist also said that although my repeated emails/texts/calls were overboard and a bad idea, that my girlfriend shouldn't have had any problem understanding what set me off. She said "She thought she could cut you out after calling you the love of her life a couple of days before, and after a year of such closeness, and that it wouldn't have a serious affect on you?"

Anyway, sorry for the long windedness. My question: We are so so so so good together, and have been for a full year. But now she seems to have suddenly had a mental break with the relationship. Do I drown my sorrows and move on?