Need advice on my relationship.

[Puddingcup]

Hi, I am new to this site so hopefully I'm posting this in the right place.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over two years and are currently living together. Lately our relationship has not been that good, it does not feel very strong. There has been an ongoing problem with him having a low libido for quite a while, which causes frustration for the both of us and makes him really upset with himself.
Lately though I am feeling increasingly unhappy. I don't believe this is the issue as we both try our best to work on it. He works a lot, about 50 hours a week at a very physical job and basically does no housework at all, which really really gets on my nerves because he promised me it wouldn't be like this when we first moved in together (although he was not working nearly as many hours initially...) I just find it really aggravating that he says he's too tired for either of these things, and I'm feeling that we're not spending as much quality time together, yet he's never too tired to play the xbox...
I am quite lost, and have let him know my feelings (well, not completely...) but I just don't know how to fix us. I am constantly hounding him which I know I shouldn't but I really can't help it or hold myself back. I feel like I really need to cut him some slack and let him adjust to his new position at work but I just can't.
I began my first year at university this year, and there has been a lot of other changes in my life (including moving in together). I have been quite stressed a lot of the time. But feeling like this relationship isn't going to work because of housework seems ridiculous to me, I am wondering if I am placing blame and these feelings upon him for other reasons, which actually have nothing to do with him? He is really supportive and a good partner, he encourages me with my goals, supports me financially and he doesn't expect me to clean the house or anything and I don't really clean much anyway, so getting mad at him for it is so hypocritical.
We have talked about how our relationship needs work and we both want to work on it. So what the hell is my problem? Why do I feel so upset? Am I the one causing all the problems?

[Wakeup]

Your story is not unique. There are millions of women out there that want to take a No. 6 cast iron skillet and whack a husband/boyfriend/room mate upside the head with it in order to get him to do a bit a chores around the old homestead. I blame mothers who did everything for their sons for this common state of affairs.

Make a chores list for him to do and one for yourself to do. Keep in mind that he is working 50 hour work weeks at a strenuous job so curtail his list to a shorter version of your own. Then show it to him and tell him that this is what you want him to look after and have done before he goes to the Xbox. Tell him that the house in a mess and the stress of school is making you a crazy woman and if you don't get help then you might as well be on your own and only having to clean up your own mess. Prepare to negotiate items from your list onto his and vice versa if he wants to make a change.

If he doesn't understand you after that, then get away from him and go out on your own or go home, wait to date until you're in more control of your emotional reaction to not being able to control another and then once you've got that down, look for someone who knows how to keep house, work and be a partner all at once.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Yeah, you could waste your time doing all that bullshit that WakeUp just suggested, or you could just do the smart thing and find someone who is compatible. The dude is lazy around the house, and can't even dick you down. What a chump. You do sound like a nag though.

[Maple1714]

Hire a house cleaner...that's what I did. You can find someone trustworthy who will clean for cheap. Making chore lists for your BF prob. wont work and you don't want/need to be his mother. Most couples fight about this stuff...I know my BF and I did...so we got a housekeeper.

[Wakeup]

It worked for us! Others mileage may vary. Tis called "conflict resolution" and letting a man know that it's not 1920 and you're (as maple stated) not his mother. You weren't, afterall, put on this earth to clean up after him. As for his low libido... I'm thinking mine wouldn't be all that revved after working 50 hours at a strenuous job either. When's the last time you two had a little holiday together?

[Boisdevie]

This relationship is in big trouble. Talk to him and get these problems resolved or it's over. BUT, if he's not shagging you and playing on his Xbox sounds like emotionally he's already checked out.
But he doesn't do the housework and neither do you. So it's not exactly fair of you to nag him on this one is it? Double standards anyone?