Urgently Need Advice!

[Wakeup]

As far as I'm concerned, he lost his "right to know" the minute he did the disappearing act. Lets just hope he doesn't have an STD/STI of his own. Op: Have you been tested for the full spectrum of infections/deseases?

[smackie9]

Ya I was thinking that too...maybe he saw the condom broken and panicked because he's got something he can't get rid of.

[smackie9]

^ the problem with this is that we are all only human. It's nearly impossible to keep your emotions in check considering the degree of the situation (pregnant, young girl who is scared and totally lost with no support). Sure, I can understand the need for closure if it was a serious bf of a few years...but they were only dating a few measly months. The strength the op has gained, can be all washed away when she sees this dude and confronts him. This is 100% the op's decision to keep the baby or not, and we don't want the guy to sway this decision when the op is at her most vulnerable. Afterwards if the op still feels like she needs closure, she can let the guy know whether she kept the baby or had an abortion. At this stage she most likely will be more emotionally stable

I don't think she is that helpless and lost. She knows her options, and is just unsure. She has support, there are school counselors she can have access to or she can go to a planned parenthood clinic for more guidance. She will be fine. We gave her enough to chew on for awhile.

[InYourFACE]

So you have the courage to open your legs and fock but now that the consequences arive you talk about you are a college kid ?

Girl please. you knew that sex can makes you pregnant. So why are you acting now?

And you are the woman so you are the one that can get pregnant even thou the father have to do his job to.
But knowing that you should have protect yourself any kind of way.
And that he left and you had your first time with him makes me think that he was there just to take your virginity.
Thats why its stupid to lay in bed with guys knowing them few months,.

The baby have noting to do with your stupid behavior. so why let it pay for it.
Take responsibility and have your baby.

Let this men know he is going to be a dad and he needs to take responsibility also .

And if you are a college kid to fock, you are also one to take care of the baby you made.

[Wakeup]

Afterwards if the op still feels like she needs closure, she can let the guy know whether she kept the baby or had an abortion. At this stage she most likely will be more emotionally stable

He needn't know before an abortion or after an abortion and if she decides on an abortion and then wants to go to his place of work and confront him for disappearing then she can do that without mentioning anything about her procedure. Even bringing it up after the fact is manipulative and self-serving. (As you well know about, BC)

OP: Closure comes from within. You do not need to get closure from someone who is so vile that they didn't even have the balls to return your "where the hell are you" texts. Pfffft. IMO: The only time he needs to know is if you decide to keep this child and then contact should be made through social services when they guaranchee his wages for child support.
Be prepared to supply him with a DNA sample from the baby (if you go this route) as he'll likely want to satisfy himself that the baby is his.

[InYourFACE]

I feel very sorry and upset with the mentality here and the kind of advice many gives you to get abortion.

That is so wrong. do you know the consequences after that abortion will be harder and worse then if you had the baby..cause you cant run away from your conscience.
It will remember you everyday that you have had a baby you took her life.
Cause you ust did not want to go true all of that.

You are not the first or last one that get into this situation.
And it doenst mean you cant get your diploma if you have a kid. things may be different but its not impossible,
Motherhood is something beautiful, and not every woman can enjoy that.
And beside abortion is murder and its wrong. and a sin,

And this dude should know ,not just for him to do his part , but cause the kid will need him somehow in her life


And if you really dont want any more kids there is only one solution that is safe ONT HAVE SEX .
You cant have sex and say i was not ready to get pregnant.

Its like drinking and say i wasn't thirsty
op stand in the rain and say i did not want to get wet.
run and say i did not want to get tired. make no sense.

[Wakeup]

do you know the consequences after that abortion will be harder and worse then if you had the baby..cause you cant run away from your conscience.

have you had an abortion? You must have had one because how else would you know this? ^

Just for your education: If you do not believe that your choice is wrong then you do not suffer nor do you need to run away from your own conscience.

[InYourFACE]

i think you love gossip and r talking bullshit.\
so you had one to know recognize when somebody has one? stupid way of thinking!
everybody have a conscience, so if you want or not it will tell you when something is wrong if you dont want to listing to its your problem.

[InManicPanic]

First off it is very highly unlikely he thought u gave him an std. U have a yeast infection and him contracting a yeast infection from a broken condom is slimmer than getting pregnant with a condom. Men don't get yeast infections like women do, if the slim chance of him happen to have it...men won't show symptoms. So forget that theory.

I didn't clarify because it's kind of gross, but I'm pretty sure he must have it in the mouth (yeast infection is called thrush when it passes to the mouth but it's the same thing). Because I had it in my mouth, too, and the only way it could've gone from vagina to mouth is from him kissing me after being down there when I had the infection...so yeah, he must have it orally. My symptoms were almost unnoticeable in the mouth, so he might not even have even gone to the doctor if his were similar. I feel very bad about it and would at least like to tell him that so it doesn't go untreated especially since it's curable with one pill...but still, that's an awkward conversation to say the least...

But yeah you're right if he did think it was something else and did go to the doctor he'd find out it was yeast. He should still know in case he didn't though. So I'll at least try to tell him that.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Your theory is still really stupid. The guy doesn't give a **** about you, hence he will not acknowledge your existence.

[bcgirl]

I feel very sorry and upset with the mentality here and the kind of advice many gives you to get abortion.

That is so wrong. do you know the consequences after that abortion will be harder and worse then if you had the baby..cause you cant run away from your conscience.
It will remember you everyday that you have had a baby you took her life.
Cause you ust did not want to go true all of that.

You are not the first or last one that get into this situation.
And it doenst mean you cant get your diploma if you have a kid. things may be different but its not impossible,
Motherhood is something beautiful, and not every woman can enjoy that.
And beside abortion is murder and its wrong. and a sin,

And this dude should know ,not just for him to do his part , but cause the kid will need him somehow in her life


And if you really dont want any more kids there is only one solution that is safe ONT HAVE SEX .
You cant have sex and say i was not ready to get pregnant.

Its like drinking and say i wasn't thirsty
op stand in the rain and say i did not want to get wet.
run and say i did not want to get tired. make no sense.

Some ppl are pro choice whereas others are not. U obviously aren't and that is you, but I can say that there are many women out there whom had abortions and live their lives normally without this haunting one day of their life.

[Maple1714]

I have had an abortion. I was in college and got pregnant the very first time I had sex with my then Boyfriend. It was a good decision for me and my life at the time. I am not religious and I do not feel that I killed a baby or anything. I did it as soon as I found out I was pregnant. My Bf's mom took me and paid for it and I recovered at her house for a week. BUT it sucked! It's very emotional no matter what you believe. You have something vacuumed out of your insides. You will have cramping and bleeding for about 2 weeks or longer. You will have thoughts of "what if" probably. Abortions are selfish...but so is choosing to have a baby and having to rely on others to help take care of it. You never know how any experience will make you feel until after you go through it.

I must be extremely fertile bc I got pregnant the first time my current BF and I were together 2 years ago. I was 10 yrs older and knew in my heart I would never have another abortion. It's a tough choice so make sure you think it through very very well. Forget about the guy...he will just be more trouble in your life.

[Maple1714]

And you can make it work as a single mom. Yes it's hard and yea it's expensive...but in this life you can create any reality you want. There are plenty of men who aren't afraid to marry a woman with children...shit I have a couple single guys that I know are waiting for the day when I might be single again...good very intelligent guys too...so whatever you choose just know you are not doomed.

[Boisdevie]

And you can make it work as a single mom.

Bringing kids up with both parents there can be hard enough. Doing it as a single parent unless you have sound finances and lots of support would be agonisingly hard. Just because some people manage doesn't mean it's a good idea.