I've seem to have lost it all.

[Missing My Life]

This post will be long probably. I need to tell someone everything that's gone on and I need advice quick please! I really really don't know what to do anymore. Nothing makes any sense.

Two and a half years ago, almost three now, I went to my little cousin's teeball game and met this girl. We hit it off big by talking about being in marching band and everything. At the end of the day she gave me her number and info and we talked on the phone and internet for the next couple of weeks. We soon went to movies and began dating but a month later I stupidly let her go. Now almost three years since that has happened we've ended up together again. A couple of weeks ago I decided to take her to a movie but we ended up not going to the movie and we went to the top of this mountain and looked at the stars for a couple of hours. It was a beautiful night and every star was out. I had won her over without intention and we soon started dating again. It's been about four weeks and everything has been good. Now I've gone crazy because something really really bad has happened. She lives on her own and I've pretty much been here everynight since the mountain and We got serious. We're so much a like in everything we do that it's funny. I've cared about this woman since I met her years ago and now I know I really love her. She means everything to me. I sent her flowers last week with a little note that said "hope you have a good day off." I want her to be the happiest woman in the world and I've tried with all my power to make her realize that. We've broken up sorta but well I don't know again. As of now I'm still living with her. Last night her ex boyfriend took her somewhere and gave her a bunch of flowers and said he was sorry for being a jerk to her and everything and it really made her happy which i was glad she was in such a good mood last night. My grandmother doesn't like her and she was who I was living with. Last night I moved out because my grandma called her a cunt and cussed at her and yelled at her and everything. Now she is telling me that she doesn't want to come in between me and my family. This isn't true because she's not coming in between me and my family and I've told her this. I also told her that my grandmother was more sad than anything because she realizes that her "little boy" is finally falling in love and finally wanting to have his own responsibilities. I told my grandmother why I was moving out because I want to have to pay for my own stuff. My car, my rent, my cell phone, and I just want to get away and be my own individual person. My ex knows that because I've told her. But she still insists that what I'm doing is reflecting negatively on her and I know that's true in some ways but I don't know what to do anymore. I've fought for this girl for almost three years now. I've done everything to let her know I have feelings, that I care for her, and that I'm in love with her and I want her in my life more than anything in the world. That's what I really want. I don't want anything else in this world except for her to be happy and realize that I love her. I want her to know I love her because for some strange reason that gives me enough to go on everyday knowing that the woman I love knows I love her and knowing that she loves me. Now when we're talking on the phone and stuff she doesn't say "i love you" or "bye" anymore she just says "i'm leaving." and hangs up. I don't know what to do. I've broken down and cried a lot. Something I'm not so sure i should admit to or not but then again I really don't know. I really don't know what's going on with me and her and I really need someone's help. I'm begging anybody please help me. I'm so confused and torn. I went to sleep last night at 2 in the morning and woke up today at 7 at night. I'm depressed in some cases I think I just need someone's help and while I don't know anybody that has any idea what to say to me I'm praying that someone here knows what to say. I hope someone has the comforting words I so desperately need to hear. Thank you all so much for taking the time to listen to me ramble. It means a lot to me, more than I believe you'll know.

[Only-virgins]

Well..if it makes you feel any better...3 years isnt that long..lol..I know I know..that sucks but I cant help you..All I know is that the only thing it seem like you should do is just tell her everything you just old us.

[lozzybug]

you sound like you've fallen pretty hard for her but i really don't think relationships should be that difficult, especially after 4 weeks. talk to her about it and if she stays the same then she's probably just not the girl for you. you're supposed to make each other happy not miserable.

[Missing My Life]

Alright well thanks for replying to my message. Looks like me and her are goiing to stay "broken up" except we're not really. I'm moving in with her now and I'm going to help her pay her bills and stuff. I think we both don't need the stress of being in a relationship now and I think that moving in and being with each other will still maybe fill that hole that I have in my heart of not actually being "together" so hopefully it all works out. Thanks again you guys.

[misombra]

your grandmother called her a cunt and you didn't defend her honor? that would piss me off! i'da dumped you too.

[Only-virgins]

Yea, you should have totally gone kung-fu on your grandma.

[bohemiandonut]

your grandmother called her a cunt and you didn't defend her honor? that would piss me off! i'da dumped you too.

First you address me as "grasshopper," and now you're all riled up because this guy didn't "defend her honor..."

Have you become a ninja, misosan?

If so... AWESOME!!!