I've got issues - please help!

[Caren]

Hi,

I have self-esteem issues. For instance, my boy friend is always busy working although he is trying his best to make time for me but I always have this thought of him fooling around and sometimes; I feel as if he is not putting enough efforts in maintaining communication with me. We see each other for about 2 hours (after work), three times a week. I know some of you may argue "quality time is better than quantity of time".

I have trust issues too (due to a past r/ship), I know it's not healthy and I've talked to him; I even suggested into ending the r/ship because I know I've got problems to work on. He merely brushed it off and assured that everything will be okay as I grow and mature. But here we are, still arguing over the 'time' management and it's taking a toll on us.

I've tried to look for activities like, going to the gym or going out with my friends but to no avail; - I still think of him. I may sound like a psycho here but all I ever ask for is constant communication (doesn't have to meet ALL THE TIME). Like, spend some time to text each other. But he is old-fashioned, he doesn't text much and only calls once a day.

He constantly tells me that he is working hard for the future and that I should be more understanding to his needs. Yes, I agree men have to work their butts off for better days ahead but it seems like I can never get it. I just can't trust him. And that makes me miserable. Unless.. I stop thinking about him, move on and get really busy.. and that's when I completely fall out of it.

Should I end the r/ship due to my issues? Or is there any other ways of helping myself?

Thank you for reading.

[steviej]

You either sort your head out or he'll eventually get sick of it and resent you.
Do whatever you need to sort yourself out, but don't mess him about splitting up with him then begging for him back two days later.

[Awesome_Trin]

You sound like a jealous, un-trusting, clingy girlfriend, which men do not find attractive. First off you need acceptance. Accept the fact you can only see him so many hours a day, per week. You must accept that, or you will constantly annoy him with all the whining. As you guys grow, he might be able and want to spend more time with you, but right now he can't, or is nicely saying he needs his space. And if you really care about him, you will give him that. He needs to be a man, do man things. If you really feel like you can't trust him, ask yourself why? Why don't i trust him? Is it your past? LET GO OF THE PAST< not all guys are the same. Is it because you have proof, or a gut feeling? If you have proof or a gut feeling, that might be different. He is brushing you off, because he thinks differently than you, doesn't see any problems. You will make problems if you continue the way your going. Take a step back and chill out. Nothing is hotter than a person that has their own thing going on, meaning find something to do, to further yourself. This man alone will not further your life. Do something to get involved with the community. Do something with your mind and body, he will find that attractive. That you aren't nagging him about time together, because deep down, he hates it. So instead of hurting you and saying geez women, back off, he brushes you off. He understands your feelings and self confidence needs a boost, go out and do something to build that!!! You will be more loveable. About the texting thing, geez women back off a bit, i personally hate texting all the dang time. I would be annoyed by a partner always wanting to text. These things are pushing him away. Don't push him away, show him what a great women you are and how you can hold your own. He will find that sexy. You got some work to do, but you can do it! You sound like a very caring and emotional women, that can be a big turn on for a guy, but it has to be in the right doses and at the right time

[Caren]

Alright, thanks! =) Appreciate it guys! *hugs*