If a guy hides something from you because he is afraid to lose you is it ok?

[michaelandme]

My boyfriend hid something major from me for a whole year because he wanted to make sure I really loved him deeply enough to accept it when he finally was ready to tell me. He said he sat on his bed many times pretending I was next to him and practiced how to tell me. He said he wanted to wait until the right time and did not want to take a chance of telling me too soon because he was afraid it would scare me away. In a case like this is it ok to essentially lie to someone? I accepted what he told me because I love him deeply and unconditionally and I know the omission of the truth was not meant to hurt me, but I wonder if that sets a precedent for lying and holding things back from me?

[Boisdevie]

Depends. What was he hiding - the remote control? Or something more serious like he was gay or black?

[smackie9]

Ya it all depends. We already had a poster with held that he had a son 4 years ago with another woman (fling) while they were doing their relationship long distance. Somethings can be a deal breaker.

At any rate, you BF is a coward. Best of luck in your future.

IMO he used manipulation.

[Wakeup]

You haven't disclosed what it is he lied about but IMO the reason doesn't really matter. If it was so important that he practiced telling for a year then it was important enough that he should have told you sooner into your dating stage. How could you ever trust him to be telling you the truth about important matters to do with your relationship? He was selfish and manipulative. That means that the essence of him is to be selfish and manipulative. Do you not feel duped?

I'm not sure what your point of posting this is. You've made your decision to stay with him regardless of you falling for him without the benefit of informed consent. Why care what we think?

[Ladybuggg]

If he did not tell you jet cause he did not feel it was the right time i dont think u can call that a lie.

That is why you need to get to know the person some years before having a relationship.

cause by jumping in relationship you dont give each other the time to build a certain comfort and trust with you
so they can open up,

and i think also it depends on what it is. Like things like: "having kids", have been with a men before dating you, etc. are things tht he needs to tell it as soon as possible.

otherwise he is stealing your chance to be with him for the right reasons.

But hwat ever it it you need to look at what you find important. if you feel mad about it dont act like its okay.